You want to become fully Jewish and connect to everything that that’s about. The main fundamental aspect of Judaism is that Hashem, God, runs the entire world with exact divine providence. That means there is really no such thing as a shidduch crisis, or your “Chances” to find someone, or “late to the party” etc. If your going to buy into this thing called Judaism, you turn to God with your requests and fears and tell Him these things in your own words in your own language. He is the one who has Someone for you and He will lead you to them/them to you in the right time. This is the mindset of a religious Jew (on whatever level, its basically this), and if you want in, then don’t fear these things because you can turn to Hashem in prayer and He listens and works with personal divine providence for each person to lead them where they need to go. Whatever you decide should be with a blessing. You don’t need to be Jewish to have a personal connection with Hashem and He leads all humans that ask for it with divine providence. But a Jew lives his life based on this and a Jew gambles on Hashem and does things and leaps into the unknown trusting that Hashem will catch him. And when Hashem does catch him its oh, so sweet. That’s what its all about, so if you want it, them say a prayer, have no fear, and jump.
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