Rayof Light- I am so so sorry I did not recognize your post before! I did read it, I forgot to add your name to my post.
And that is exactly my point. You might look at me as perfect, but I have my problems too. They are extremly different from yours, but I am not perfect, I make mistakes. I forgot to mention you, which probably hurt your feelings. As humans, we all have our issues, but we need not be defined by them.
I am very happy to hear your friends are kind to you, it is a Bracha from Hashem. As for your parents, take two approaches. the first could be to discuss with them how you are feeling. If you cannot do that through a conversation, write it down and hand it to them and walk away. But the main point is to give them insight into your head. Let them know what is going on.
I am so sorry it has been so hard for you, that you do not feel safe and you are embarrassed and afraid. But there are so many ways that you can feel loved, embraced and safe. You can attend a camp like camp kaylie, which has facilities that accomodate kids with special needs and integrates other kids with them. There is camp simcha, camp HASC( which does not seem to be for you) but I am saying that there are programs out there that can help you work on your self esteem, your outbreaks and your sense of self security.
Your parents love you, and they must be very special to have a special child like you. It is hard for them, as they are not speaking your language. You are blessed it seems to be able to communicate. Many “typicially developing” people cannot communicate with their own parents. Many people have strained relationships. Try your best to find a way to show them what is happening in your mind!
hatzlacha rabba