Rules of Work
>
> 1. Never give me work in the morning. Always
> wait until 4:00 and
> then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is
> refreshing.
>
> 2. If it’s really a rush job, run in and
> interrupt me every 10
> minutes to inquire how it’s going. That helps. Or
> even better, hover
> behind me, advising me at every keystroke.
>
> 3. Always leave without telling anyone where
> you’re going. It
> gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks
> where you are.
>
> 4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes,
> books, or supplies,
> don’t open the door for me. I need to learn how to
> function as a
> paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good
> training in case I
> should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.
>
> 5. If you give me more than one job to do,
> don’t tell me which
> is the priority. I am psychic.
>
> 6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this
> office and really
> have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life
> beyond work.
>
> 7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a
> secret. If that gets
> out, it could mean a promotion.
>
> 8. If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I
> like my name to
> be popular in conversations. I was born to be
> whipped.
>
> 9. If you have special instructions for a job,
> don’t write them
> down. In fact, save them until the job is almost
> done. No use
> confusing me with useful information.
>
> 10. Never introduce me to the people you’re with.
> I have no right
> to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am
> plankton. When you
> refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will
> identify them.
>