It sounds like youre having a really hard time and good for you that youre reaching out.
Friendships can be really complicated. Its so hard to know who is a true friend and who isnt. Unfortunately, one friend dropping another does happen and its so painful when it does. You have memories together and you may have shared personal things with each other and now it feels like you wasted your energy on nothingness.
I have a few questions on your post.
1. Why do you identify yourself as a cochlear implant boy? Forget about what others say about you for a minute. Do you or do you not believe that youre more than that? True it was a challenge you were given but that doesnt encompasse who you are! Theres so much more to you!
2. You wrote that you were bullied for an eating disorder. Can I ask which one?
3. Does not being as frum as you used to be because of the friendships come from a lack of trust?
Looking forward to hearing from you…