Gavra,
So you retract your second idea, and go back to your first idea, to which I already responded, Speaking to one’s own parents doesn’t do enough if they can’t give enough.
I didn’t think of it as two ideas, but rather a change that the couple should discuss finances during the engagement to see what apartment they should rent, etc.
Are you (and Popa) saying that someone who can’t support themselves (and their parents are also unwilling/unable) should only marry someone who can support them? Even if the girl has all maalos, and would be a good match, she should be rejected due to the size (or rather lack thereof) of daddy’s bank account??