Much like any other uniform or standard, it shows who you identify with and what basic expectations people can expect to see in you.
Do “colored shirt / no hat on shabbos balei batim” have a daily shiur? Of course they do.
Do “black hat / tzitis out balei batim” learn a minmum of 3 hours a night after work? Not always.
But the expectation is, the hatless guy has a television at home and the black hatter does not not. Sticking to a dress code gives you something to idenitfy with and be identifed by. Not a guarrantee, but at least an expectation.
And there are no “golden standards” What is right for me / my family, may be viewed as extreme by others and vice versa.
But like Wolf said, marry the man not the suit. I’m more “yeshivish” now than I was when I walked down the asile. But it was an inner growth, so it took root and holds firm in challenging times as well as in the “kosile bais medrash”
Don’t worry about needing to explain why you made the choice you did / will. If the fundamentals (davening, middos, temper, patience, ect) are secure, all else is immaterial