Always, I hear you’re not wanting to conform. And there’s a lot to be said for being yourself, forging your own path, living a life where you’re true to yourself, not to what others would like to push down your throat.
But listen to what a mamin is trying to tell you. Think about it. Do you have children? It’s nice for them (and you can make a good argument that it’s more than nice; it’s necessary for their social/ psychological/ spiritual development) to feel like part of a group. I’m sure you don’t want them to feel marginalized, or, worse, made fun of. Are they in schools /yeshivas where the staff and students see their mother as a bit weird?
Can you find a framework for fitting in without losing your own identity and dreams in the process?