I’m having a similar problem. I’m not currently looking into dating in any way shape or form and do not plan on it for a decent while, but even just for myself (which isn’t a small thing at all) I have no idea where to place myself. I grew up in a basically yeshivish seviva (if not quite yeshivish home) and in high school and now sem I’ve seen different things and made different decisions that propel me in other directions. But I’m not so thrilled with things that people say are natural for people in my direction, either (I don’t consider that a default/ideal) and right now I feel a bit lost because there’s no box I can say I belong to and no place where I feel completely at home. My friend tells me that “you don’t have to be yeshivish or chassidish or modern, just tell people you’re an oved Hashem,” and I told her that while she’s right, unfortunately in society today that’s just not enough. (Her family has given her a very, very clear hashkafa, FTR.)
I think I’m going to take it on a case-by-case basis.