Lior,
1.) Are you claiming that if a Husband went to B”D these days and said that he is not mochel these obligations the B”D would force her? We both know that wouldn’t happen, and no one would even claim that it should. You may as well just say that these days parents are Mochel on their Kavod in the case we are discussing.
2.) There are plenty of cases of wives refusing to do what would be considered things they are obligated to do and or being abusive. Forcing them in the ways mentioned above is simply never and option and considered wrong despite Halacha saying otherwise.