My typical response to this type of thread would be that there is not enough information provided to be able to properly assess what is going on and provide good advice. You provided us with the information that you chose to provide, however, and asked us to comment, so here you go.
My advice to you: this girl deserves better. And the next time you go on a date, please wear a sign that says, “Hello, my name is _____, and I will be abusive to you after we are married!”
She has done nothing wrong by you. She went to your rabbi and acted politely to him. She is putting no limitations on your contact with him. She has shared her feelings with you honestly and openly, and made a very reasonable request of you.
Your response? You’ve questioned her good middos. Accused her of being judgmental, ungrateful, and unappreciative. Dismissed her feelings and concerns. If this is how you plan to conduct yourself in marriage, then your “hours of dating coaching” by this rabbi have been a complete waste. You are not ready for marriage.
Imagine that after you are married, you perceive that your father-in-law is acting rudely towards you when they are visiting. It hurts your feelings, and makes you uncomfortable enough to tell your wife. Would you want your wife to respond, “that’s ridiculous! He’s been nothing but polite to you, and you are so ungrateful to even say that after all he’s done to help us!” I don’t think so.