I think we’re mostly in agreement, because my main issue was indeed the agreement with the secular supervisor. There are two points with which I’ll disagree, though.
1) there is a specific problem in that the way our society portrays women is such that if a woman is older and unmarried she may feel bad/pitied/worthless etc.
I don’t think this is a women’s issue. The older single men seem to be expressing a similar sentiment.
2) there is a dearth of things which women are led to feel accomplished about outside of marriage
I don’t think that vacuum exists. I think the issue is that nothing is as valued as her role in marriage, not that other things aren’t considered accomplishments.
I believe that your statement that “I don’t know if there is a simple answer or even any answer at all” shows that we are much more in agreement than disagreement; if there’s possibly no solution, anger and blame are sorely out of place.
In fact, your statement, It’s a combination of societal values plus insensitive people. nicely sums up my position.