in high school my straight-ish hair became too curly to wear straight and too straight to wear curly. It always looked like I hadn’t brushed it. I used to perm it curly so it would be consistent and look more “mentschlich” (?). I have to tell you that it only came out the way I wanted it too 1 out of 3 times. Eventually I stopped because it was too annoying to live with that. It gave me split ends but they grew out so who cares. My daughter had stunning curls that started looking more half and half as well so she irons it. I think that has damaged her hair way more than the perms damaged mine.
I hate to say it tho, but I do agree that it is more important to be happy with ourselves as we are. I do believe that we think what we don’t have is somehow better than what we have.