It is clear from the girls posting here that they have difficulty finding these type of boys. And to blame that totally (or even mostly) on the shadchanim is, I think, a bit silly.
So it seems that a large percentage of these bots are NOT the same as learning boys, in more areas than just how many hours they learn.
Do the majority of working people, especially in today’s job market, actually manage to put in large amounts of time learning, as these posters portray ? Its usually just not possible. And I’m not hiding in Lakewood somewhere, but am very familiar with working communities. Are the shuls in such communities bursting on Sundays ? Some. Not most. And yes, I know those guys who amazingly manage. I’m not talking about them.
The fact that there may be many full-time learners who are not actually learning full time, and may have many other negatives, does not preclude the association between one who wants to dedicate (much of) his life to learning and higher level of frumkeit. It is quite a logical association, in terms of percentages, when eliminating the explicitly “bad guys” from both groups.
No one is going to post here that they respect learning guys that don’t have midos. So lets discuss just learners vs. workers who are good guys.
Give me a full time learner who actually does put in those hours, and is not a write-off of a person, and you have very good chances of someone who is very medakdek in halacha (I’m talking about awareness, not chumros), runs a house where ruchniyus is stressed, etc. Give me a good guy who’s working from a young age, and the possibility of his “home” looking significantly different in terms of more secular etc is quite larger.
I post this keeping in mind the many posters here who are clearly working, and display both Midos and Torah knowledge. I’m obviously talking percentages.
Also – would people stop posting about their middle-aged husbands and fathers. The world has changed, like it or not. Different situation, different challenges. I’m not talking right or wrong – just what goes on, based on what our system produces.
OK, that’s all for now. You can all go ahead and sputter with indignation. And go on about my bad midos for saying that. Because, by the way, that seems to be the go-to accusation whenever anyone utters a positive word about learning guys.