in reference to your minor point, let me clarify… after the first date, i came home repulsed by his appearance, but he was a mentch and there wasn’t anything else besides his appearance that made me want to say no to a second date, so knowing that looks can “grow on you” I decided to go out a second time. the second and third date went really well, and as i learned more about him, I liked his personality more. Yet after each date I was really torn because I really enjoyed my time with him, yet his looks simply weren’t “growing” on me, and I couldn’t imagine marrying a guy that I wasn’t attracted to! I was nervous to continue dating him, because i knew that if my perception of his appearance didn’t improve, I would eventually end things, and I didn’t wanna take him for a ride… after speaking to a mentor, i realized that the appearance factor could have been affected by the beard, and that seeing him without it might help things. With that in mind, I decided to “give it another shot” after tisha b’av. I specifically didn’t write “a second date” after tisha b’av.
Turned out that my perception of his appearance did not change when he was clean shaven, but my decision to end it was actually based on some other factors that I learned about him through conversation on that final date. (As far as giving him another shot BECAUSE he hadn’t shaved, I meant that I would have ended it even sooner had there not been that hope for improvement.)
Now, that was MY experience, and I do realize after writing it all and thinking it through all over again (it’s been a while!) that with all those details it might not provide support to the shaving vs not-shaving discussion after all!
I guess my bottom line for the OP is that a bit of stubble due to the time of year did not negatively affect my decision to see him again.