being that I just got engaged and im not chassidish so I went out on dates I will tell you that I think I had the best of both worlds. my parents did a tremendous amount of research and so did his….but we still dated. by the time we went out we really knew a lot about each other and it went very very fast. I think the chassidish way is very good for people that grew up with it. its very healthy for them but very unhealthy for someone who is not chassidish to try it and think its going to work for them. its not a one-size-fits-all kinda thing. I have a very close friend who also only met the guy once and is engaged for over a year to him (getting married soon) but she has no more doubts and nervous feelings than I do.
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