WOW keep climbing I just wanna say I am getting so much nachat from reading this chat because I see how much Am Yisrael cares about one another and how everyone keeps checking up
On you and giving you great advice. We’re so lucky to be part of this unbelievable nation!
Some tips 🙂
– so I used to be petrified of talking on the phone. And it got to a point when I was scared to talk to my own sister (who I was BH close with) because I thought the conversation would be socially awkward….basically what helped me was making a list of things I could talk abt whether its my hs activities, college choice, a class I went to, or some new gadget I just bought) then I wasn’t so nervous to call the person cuz I knew if I couldn’t think of what to say next I could just glance at my list!
Pretty soon I didn’t even use the list anymore and it was just for helping me feel secure, and now I
Don’t use lists anymore unless I’m calling someone important that I never spoke to before, which makes me extra nervous, which I don’t mind 🙂
– another tip. My sister was having a hard time too with social anxiety. She feels like whatever she says is weird and awkward. She lost confidence in herself cuz she’s been in college for a longgg time and procrastinated her classes and is not passing a lot of them. What bothered me was she kept saying negative things abt Herself “I can’t study!” “I’m scared to talk to her” “I’m not good at this” “I hate the way I am” SO I decided this has to stop. Speech is powerful. I did a psychology experiment and to summarize basically boys had to take shots of basketball and first they took a few shots and got some in and then they repeated phrases like “I’m good at this game!” “I can do it” 5x and took more shots and got so much more in! It really works. My sister wrote down 5 positive phrases and I made her repeat it 5x until she was smiling and felt confident. It really helps,
Especially since my rabbi always taught me “with Judaism, you have to FAKE it till you MAKE it!” Meaning act like ur happy doing a mitzvah and pretty soon u will
Be. Or it could mean act like u love yourself and you’ll actually come to love urself. So know that there’s nothing wrong with “faking” we learn “betoch sheloh lishmah Ba lishma!”
Good luck with everything I wish u much beracha in the future. And remember instead of repeating in ur head and writing in cr that ur a loser and failure, say “I’m a winner and I am friendly and smart, and sensitive and kind!” And ull see how fast ur words will turn from “fake” to real 🙂