Lior,
I’m pleased to correct your mistaken impression. If beis din halachicly determines and rules ???? ?????, I 100% advocate the husband give a Get even in the absence of a ???? ?????. No qualifications.
Fine. Good. What about a case where the beis din recommends it? Would you support the husband in declaring, essentially, that he knows G-d’s will better than those rabbis?
Would we agree that someone who would follow a ???? ????? where it isn’t a ???? ????? is someone who should refrain from cholov stam? (I’m just hashing this point of yours out; I’m not yet taking a firm position on this comparison.)
I agree, a G-d fearing Jew who cares about his neshama would rather cause himself a loss than another person pain.
They can’t halachicly sources these boich svaras because halacha says that a Get is only given if the husband “wants” to give it.
I think that the people you are referencing are not having a problem with the halacha, but rather with the husband not wanting to give it.