Sam, these two issues are similar in that the individual case has to be weighed against precedent. If we allow a woman to ask for and receive a get at whim (same with a man giving one), we support making marriage disposable. Yet, the individual case is served better by allowing it.
Same with charges of abuse. Of course, better safe than sorry, but we risk allowing charges of abuse being indiscriminately used as a bargaining chip or tool for revenge, as it has been used.
There’s no easy answer here.