Pashuteh Yid 2.0 – where does Reb Moshe zatzal discuss hilchos tznius?
Ramateshkolian – when mothers are tznuot in their hanahagos, as well as in their dress, when their middos are more toward anivas and less toward brazenness, this makes a powerful effect on a daughter. Further, when a mother focuses on her child’s pnimius when they are young and as they grow, the chitzonius comes more naturally, because it is the natural netiya of a child to want to grow up and be a tznua, because it is a mitzvah that HKBH was metzave to every part of a woman’s body (midrash Breishis). In a psychological note, she will want to grow up to be like her mother.
However, once a child is exposed to outside influences in what she perceives as acceptable models such as secular media which are filled with models that lure us away from the derech of Torah, she becomes confused. In general, when these influences are not given credence in the home, the child gets the message of ikar/tafel, and can maintain the standard of the home. However, in today’s world where children from even the most upgehiten home are exposed, even this is not a guarantee. However, it is critical that these messages come from the home, schools can only support the messages of the home. It is my experience that even if the schools mess up with their messages, kids eventually grow up to adopt the standards of the home, as long as the relationship with the parents are intact.