I would like to clarify something:
I was not following the thread and I don’t know who started it (nor do I care to know). The title of the thread caught my attention and I felt a response was appropriate.
I never had the zechus to meet Rav Pam zt”l. However, based on what I’ve read and what I heard over the years, I believe that he would not have approved of the use of any derogatory word, even though “it’s just a joke.” Yes, Rav Pam picked up on nuances – but he still would not have approved of slurs or the like.
Truth is, all of this is a reminder to myself – how careful am I about how I speak? Room for improvement.