Let’s say I don’t like sitting down in restaurants. I can always go home. How does some other family sitting down in a restaurant enjoying a nice meal with the bubbies and zaydies who worked hard to support the family for all those years impact on my ruchnius? What ruchnius is there in sticking my nose into somebody else’s family simcha, and trying to ruin it for them?
I mamash think there are some people who simply can’t find any ruchnius if it doesn’t involve the feeling of holier than thou. Yiddishkeit loses all meaning for them if they can’t find someone to look down at. Don’t the mussar sefarim (or even Pirkei Avos) say one is mechuyav to be mesameach in the simcha of another, just like being nosei b’ol R”L in the difficulty of another? Wow, I did a big mitzvah today, I ruined the meal of a bubbie or zaydie who struggled all their lives, traveled for many hours, and want a little nachas from the grandchildren for a few hours in a nice restaurant. Big yasher koach to me, I made the RBSH very happy today.