Reply To: Shadchan Blues

Home Forums Decaffeinated Coffee Shadchan Blues Reply To: Shadchan Blues

#1009990
golfer
Participant

Oomis, you’re very lucky that when you dated the boy your Rebbetzin suggested, he took his yarmulke off. A lot of people with serious problems (religious issues, health issues, emotional issues and others) don’t make such a clear display of them on a first date (or unfortunately sometimes even a tenth date).

A shadchan looking out for the welfare of the person they’re suggesting dates to, should at least try to be informed before they redt the shidduch. A lot of shadchanim will sing the praises of the person they’re redting without knowing any details, just to “make the sale.” They’re so excited to set up a date that they”ll cheerfully go ahead and say whatever they think it takes to get a yes.

If the shadchan is completely open about having almost no info and redting the shidduch solely on the basis of a hunch, while warning the recipient of the suggestion to investigate carefully, then there’s no harm done.

And if Poster would have approached her friend by saying that she was suggesting a boy’s name but had only heard of him in passing and didn’t know the boy or his family at all, she might have saved herself a headache.