Daas Yachid, I would tend to believe that most people do not think it is ever a good ideas to hire someone for any service without having at least a ballpark figure idea of what it will cost them.
So ask. Nobody said you can’t do research in advance. You can even ask the shadchan if you want, but you just can’t have taynas if after the fact, the shadchan expects the minimum within the going range.
I don’t care WHAT the service is. And I seriously doubt that Halacha expects people to fork over “the going rate” for said service, if it might impoverish them.
Ok, so you think I’m lying, and so is AZ, and so are the two lengthly articles quoted in the thread?
I assure you that were I to need to pay $1,000-$2,000 per child to a shadchan today, I would not be able to do so.
I have two answers for that, and you might think they’re contradictory, but they’re not. The first answer is that you can certainly ask the shadchan to consider your financial situation. As I mentioned earlier, you can even ask the shadchan their fee up front, and tell them tat you can only afford x amount. If you stipulate in advance, you can make that candy dish perfectly halachically acceptable.
The second answer may sound a bit cynical, but I ask sincerely: if you can’t afford the $1000 for the shadchan, how do you expect to pay for a wedding, which costs tens of thousands of dollars?
So I guess my daughters will have to find some other way to meet their basherter.
Either way, may it be b’karov!
Very slightly edited