Avram, thank you. I don’t think there’s a bigger mentch in the CR (maybe not in MD either).
I’ve been wondering what set everyone off about the OP, and maybe you’ve hit upon it, but I don’t think you have to read that comment the way you did.
Is the OP really saying that he would stalk a poor person for shadchanus? I don’t think so.
What would you do if you were in a position to pay a shadchan (may that happen at the proper time), but couldn’t afford it (may you in fact be able to afford generous shadchanus b’ravchus)?
After asking a shaila, let’s say you were told that you owe a minimum of $750. I’ll tell you what I think you would do. You would ask the shadchan if he could please accept shadchanus on a payment plan, as you really can’t afford it right now. Or, you might even request that he accept a candy dish
as a token of your great appreciation and please be moichel the rest. If this happened to the OP(‘s relative?), I have no reason to think he would have started a thread in the CR.
I’ll also tell you what you would not do. You would not try to unilaterally pattur yourself from a $750 chov with a $17.95 candy dish from Amazing Savings (or whatever they have in MD).
This is what the OP thought was being done (I think he might have been wrong about that), and writing his question in an anonymous forum in no way violates lo sihyeh lo k’nosheh.