Apy,
So, it does not depend on the shadchans personal feelings either now, does it. Why do you malign someone who gives an amount less than what you believe is THE proper amount.
I don’t and didn’t. I maligned the notion that it’s not decided by market conditions, as halacha states, but by personal whim or ability to pay. And please don’t make this personal, I am not maligning people, just vehemently opposing some erroneous ideas.
One must also consult with a halachic authority before unilaterally deciding to malign a whole bunch of people because their personal whim calls for $2500 and they only got $750 or a candy dish.
Again, I never gave an amount. But in any community, surely shadchanus in usually more than a candy dish.
If the halacha states that in absence of a pre arranged agreement or a pre determined market rate set by beis din (or the market), then the shadchan is not the one who determines the market rate, the market does
I lost you there. If there’s no rate set by the market, then the market sets the rate? What does that mean?
I don’t think anyone argued (certainly not I) that the shadchan sets the rate ex post facto, just that the rate is indeed set by the market, which, as pba said, means what most people give.