writer.at.heart415
You did nothing wrong. Quite the contrary. The YCT “rabbi” was pressuring you to bend to his standards, and you set clear lines tactfully. May I be so good.
I would like to give you some free advice. I heard that Rav Moshe has a Teshuva where a lady asked about living in a college dorm. He said that she should not live there. CYLOR.
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“Many of the Kashruth Standards are just chumras or just being machmir”
Even if so (and we don’t know the particulars of this case), being that she accepted them upon herself, they become a neder and she is bound to keep them. See Rav Moshe’s Teshuvot on Chalav Yisrael (Yorah Deah, Volume 1, pages 82-89).
Furthermore, he’s a YCT dude and all bets are off. You don’t have to beleive in Torah M’Sinai to be a YCT “rabbi”. So how can you trust them for anything halachic?
matzav(dot)com/belief-in-torah-min-ha-shamayim-damage-control-by-yct-subtly-defending-the-indefensible
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“It is easy to be cavalier about other people when you live in a protected environment.”
I live out of town, was far out, and I have a number of issues that I deal with. The last time I ate out at a friends house, I brought a bag of flour to my hostess on Thursday so that we could have kemach yashan in Challah and in kugels. If you want it bad enough you’ll get it.
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“Actually, the best thing would have been for ‘writer-at heart’ to say yes , so as not to shame the Rabbi and then- when invited- find some excuse why not to go.”
NO. She nipped it in the bud. Otherwise she would have to deal with similar awkward situations many times in the future. Besides which, he was trying to shame her into saying yes and coerce her – maybe not maliciously – but he should be more thoughtful.
I had a friend that learned in YCT over twelve years ago. According to him, one of the purposes of YCT is to make more people like Avi Weiss and spread the gospel. They (including Linzer) used to make fun of other yeshivas. I don’t beleive that they are happy with “live and let live”. They want to push their agenda.
I have a lot of respect for writer.at.heart415 for nicely giving push back. my emphasis, not a mod’s