First of all, David Bar-Magen: May Hashem give you a Yeshuah quickly and easily, and may He shower you with bracha v’hatzlacha, good health and happiness.
Second of all, I’m in a very similar situation to yours. And “im lo yo’il lo yazik”; try to say Parshas Hamon every day, as per the Yerushalmi it’s supposed to help with Parnassa. Also, if you even have just a few minutes a day, try to learn a sefer that deals with bitachon that speaks to you. Personally I have been getting tremendous chizuk from “sichos chizuk” from Reb Tzvi Meyer Zilberberg. There were times when I was so down I was sure that nothing in the world could give me hope, and that sefer would usually do it. Try to borrow the volume on Beraishis (or find a shul that has it) which has some incredible sichos for people in tzoris. Actually, any volume will do, it’s just that Beraishis has one VERY powerful one which I’ve recently seen. If you’re interested, I’ll look up the page b”n.
Third of all: Try to be dan l’kaf z’chus to those posters here whose posts lack the required Jewish Midah of Rachmonus, as one of the following probably applies to them:
1. They may be non-Jewish trolls,
2. They were born with the middah of achzaryus, and this is their big Yetzer Hora and nisayon in life (to those of you to whom this applies, some good advice: get off the internet so you don’t constantly raise the temperature in your afterlife)
3. They are people who have had a hard life and have become cynical, bitter, distrustful people (idem for getting off the internet),
4. They’re idiots.
Fourth of all: to those of you to whom one of the four points above apply: thank you for having made it clear to the rest of us who you are, and on which side of the fence of Jewish values and Hashkofa you stand.
And specifically to shmendrik: I’m as right-wing and yeshivish as they come. I’ve probably learned more years and dapim than you have. Which is why I can tell you that the amount of chisaron b’bein adom lchaveiro and bad middos (let’s start with gaavah…) you have shared with us in this thread is simply astounding.
It’s one thing when you want to make uber-yeshivish comments in a hashkafa thread. But doing so in a thread where you use your so-called Torah knowledge to further trample on a down-trodden Yid is disgusting. I sincerely hope you’re merely an idiot, because the alternative would be scary for you.
Personally I think the mods should ban you for your comments in this thread, which are as trolly as they come…