A poll released ahead of Tu B’Av reveals that half of Israeli Jews would opt out of Orthodox wedding ceremonies if given the choice. The survey, conducted by the Smith Research Institute for Hiddush, found that 22% of respondents prefer civil marriage, while 13% favor Conservative or Reform ceremonies.
The poll highlights a significant divide between Charedi and Modern Orthodox respondents, who largely support Orthodox ceremonies, and secular respondents, who overwhelmingly favor alternative options. Women were also less likely to choose Orthodox ceremonies, with only 44% expressing support.
Despite personal preferences, 67% of respondents support legalizing more types of marriage, including civil, Conservative, and Reform weddings. This includes 92% of secular respondents and 31% of religious respondents.
The survey’s findings come as Israeli law only recognizes marriages performed through established religious institutions. Alternative options, such as civil ceremonies abroad or online marriages through Utah County, have gained popularity in recent years.
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17 Responses
It was an agreement when Israel was formed through Ben Gurean that they will be following the Orthodox regarding marriages.
the chief rabbinate’s monopoly on marriage is a legal artifact, not a halakhic requirement. we do not share the christian belief in original sin and the requirement for a “church wedding”.
Well, the good news is that half the population still supports traditional kidushin
It’s troubling that most Jews are not shomrei Torah. It’s by far better for them not to be married al pi din Torah.
Giving kosher kidushin to people who aren’t frum is like doing geirus on people who aren’t frum.
If you wouldn’t do geirus on these people, why kidushin?
They can’t be trusted and their marriages aren’t and shouldn’t be considered “kadosh”.
Secular jews should NOT have a kosher kidushin. The problems is causes are too numerous to list, and the advantages are extremely minimal, for secular jews who don’t keep any mitzvos anyway.
When Charedi Jews refuse to serve in the Israeli Army,
even those Charedim who are NOT in yeshivah and NOT working,
the Secular Jews become ENRAGED, and they no longer
want marriage ceremonies performed by Orthodox Rabbis.
Perhaps if the Rabbanut was friendlier towards those that were not born frum those people would invite them into the process of kiddushin. You get more with honey than vinegar…..(Or mustard for our those doing the daf)
Why are people surprised Jews in every larger numbers are walking away from religion? This is especially happening in western countries.
Europe has all but abandoned religion. America has seen a fairly quick decline so why would Israel (or American Jews as well) be different?
As a famous Jewish personality explained, “To my grandparents being Jewish was everything. Where you could live. Jobs you could work in. Whether you could own land. Whether you were persecuted, etc.
But today it’s just another box to check off about what makes you interesting.
I like golf? Check. I’m from Florida? Check. I went to summer camp? Check. I’m Jewish? Check. I like the beach? Check. I like vanilla ice cream? Check.”
For many Jews in the secular world it’s nothing more than an interesting talking point so why would they want some “Old School Rabbi” being involved?
My mother A”H worked for a frum lawyer in Tel Aviv, who specialized in divorce cases. This man was a massive Talmid Chochom, who gave Shiurim in Daf Yomi and other topics, and a very Ehrliche person.
His take on the Israeli marriage system was that Orthodox weddings should be made voluntary, and this for a very simple reason:
The messes that divorce cases constantly turn into, make the issue of Gittin very complex. For a non-frum person, to whom, sadly, Halacha doesn’t really mean anything, they don’t care if they got their Halachic divorce. The couple will separate, and each will find someone else to spend their next piece of life with. This creates thousands of cases of people transgressing the Issur of Eshes Ish. And all because we forced them to be Halachically married.
If marriage כדת משה וישראל was made a personal choice, then those people who live their lives כדת משה וישראל would have no issue with it, whereas those who don’t wouldn’t be forced into a situation where they wind up being עובר on severe Aveiros.
Civil marriage has no Halachic binding. At most, it’s a status of a פילגש, which does not require a גט. Children born from such unions would still be registered with both parents’ info, so you don’t need to worry about ייחוס.
I personally heard from a leading Posek in EY that he agreed with that mindset. We have a concept of מוטב יהיו שוגגים ואל יהיו מזידים. In this case, it’s not even a situation of שוגגים, as living together without a Kiddushin is forbidden only as a תקנה מדרבנן, whereas the alternative is a כרת or מיתת בי”ד.
It’s sad, true. But no more than the fact that millions of Jews don’t keep Shabbos, don’t eat Kosher, don’t believe in the sanctity of the Torah, and so on.
Thanks to the Chief Rabbinate for setting standards fir חיתון and גיטין. So held the Gadol Hador RYEH. He was נפטר summertime 1973 I think.
That women favor non-Orthodox or non-halachic marriage is sadly not surprising to me. We have not done enough in our generation to ensure that women have enough protections in a halachic marriage, particularly an Israeli legal halachic marriage (and yes, men could do with additional protections as well). Our mesorah has been to enact takanos to ensure that women are protected in marriage, from Chazal instituting the kesubah to Rabbeinu Gershom instituting various takanos and countless other gedolim who instituted takanos of their own. Unfortunately, now that women have other options, they will choose them as long as they have reason to fear halachic marriage. We can and should do better within the realm of halacha.
For chilonim, this may not be such a bad thing, as a non-halachic marriage wouldn’t require a gett if they divorce. At least it would avoid possible mamzeirim!
1. Most Israelis are secular, so why should they support formal marriages. One of core beliefs of secularism is in sexual freedom (which is not compatible with the idea of marriage).
2. Remember that in the Jewish tradition, there is no penalty for having children outside of marriage (the kid is kosher, and is the child of both parents with full rights). In the Christian tradition, if the parents weren’t married the child was a “bastard” and considered an orphan at birth (often made a ward of the king/state), and was considered to be unrelated to either parent (the goyim have since changed their laws in most countries so that at least the baby has a mother from a legal perspective, and can sometimes even be recognized by and supported by the father – but that is a recent change and doesn’t necessarily get reflected in social attitudes).
3. Also note that under halacha one need not be “married by a rabbi” (again, unlike Christians in which traditionally an authorized priest was need to get married). The rabbi in Jewish tradition is more of a legal advisor and his absence is irrelevant to the validity of the marriage (similar to any transaction in which you should have a lawyer, but the validity is not dependent on the lawyer’s presence). The idea of a rule that everyone needs to be married by an “official” rabbi was dreamed up in Israel by the the zionists to emulate the concept of subordination of religious matters to the state, similar to how they perceived things worked in Britain; arguably it violates the prohibition of adopting Hukas Goyim. (but that is true of most of zionism).
It’s not troubling at all. It’s frankly good news. It means less mamzeirim.
Essential background:
Most Israelis’ sole contact with Rabbinnic figures is through the Rabbanut.
And the haredi takeover of the Rabbanut has meant that this contact has been with Rabbonim who are personally alienating, not just because they are from a very different culture, but because they are political appointees who are untrained, unprofessional, and generally unpleasant.
They got their jobs not because they are interested in or qualified to show secular Israel a relatable Judaism (like American Rabbis and haredi kiruv workers do), but because their political and family connections get them an easy well-paying job.
Previous to the haredi takeover, community Rabbis in Israel were relatable and professional. Not any more.
I assure you, if your sole contact with Rabbonim and Torah was the Rav Shechuna who performs your family members’ and friends’ weddings, you’d run the other way as well.
this is the result of the Zionist “education” system which is not only against the Torah but goes against even basic values, it is something that must be fought tooth and nail.
@lakewoodbt
Actually, it’s the opposite.
See my post above.