THE FOLLOWING WAS PUBLISHED BY YWN ON CHOL HAMOED PESACH 5775:
The following might be painful for some to read. Silence, however, is not an option.
Some may label this op-ed “anti-Charedi” or “typical self-hating Jew drivel” – but it is not. This is not directed at any sect of Orthodox Jews in any way.
What this writer has personally witnessed in the past two days of Chol Hamoed is enough reason to take pen to paper.
We are blessed to be the Am Hanivchar, the Chosen People. The nations of the world watch our every move; how we speak, how we interact with each other, and how we interact with the world around us.
On Chol Hamoed, when just about every single family goes on trips to relax and enjoy the Yom Tov, we are watched very closely. We visit amusement parks, museums, malls, parks, airports, tourist locations, concerts, plays, shows, and anything else we can think of. Not only are they watching us closer, but this week – there is even greater exposure of our behavior. How so? There is no public school on account of Easter vacation. Consequently, there are thousands of other ordinary Americans at the same attractions that we attend.
We are being VERY closely watched.
On the second day of Yom Tov, we read in the Torah about Chillul Hashem. Perhaps it was done so we can fully understand how to prepare ourselves and our families for Chol hamoed. So that when we go out in the public en mass, we can make a Kiddush Hashem, and not chas veshalom the opposite.
Most of us make a Kiddush Hashem. Our families are well behaved. We follow rules. We don’t litter. But the sheer numbers of Charedi folk who cause a Chillul Hashem is MUCH too much to bear.
Chillul Hashem is a sin that YOM KIPPUR does not forgive.
On the first day of Chol Hamoed, this writer witnessed a Charedi woman with her husband and family in a NYC subway station. A fare was paid for the mother to push her baby carriage through. Along with her carriage, however, went through FIVE others – all without meeting the fare requirement.
Later that day, this writer witnessed three Charedi children in South Street Seaport in Lower Manhattan tossing empty Kosher box drink containers into the East River. The parents sat on a nearby bench as this behavior continued for 15 minutes. With the river littered with chocolate bar wrappers, empty snack bag wrappers etc., not one – not two – but THREE non-Jewish passersby told the parents to have their children stop this behavior.
On the second day of Chol hamoed, this writer witnessed a Charedi father pull his child’s pants down on a major street and allow his child to relieve himself on a public sidewalk. Later that day, this writer witnessed a Charedi woman walk her child to the front of a line in a popular amusement park, and simply cut the entire line of more than 50 people patiently waiting for their turn.
After this writer confronted her and told her respectfully that approximately 45 of the 50 people on line were not Jewish and she caused a massive Chillul hashem, her Charedi husband reprimanded this writer and told him not to give other people “Musar”, and “mind his own business.”
On Tuesday evening, Ed Day, the Rockland County Executive posted on his Facebook page a photo of a Charedi family at the Haverstraw Bay Park. In the photo (attached here), one can see a Charedi family standing around while a child is sitting on top of the Ramapo 9/11 Memorial. The Supervisor said the point of the religious makeup of the family, or their ethnicity didn’t matter. What matters, Day said, is the “desecration of this site.”
“A photo of a family standing around and their child sitting on our 9/11 Memorial in Haverstraw Bay Park has been brought to my attention (the child in the striped shirt at the back of this photo).
The ethnic or religious makeup of the family in question is not what matters here. What matters, and what I would ask everyone to focus on, is the desecration of this sacred site. I have reached out to Sheriff Falco and our Environmental Resources/Parks Coordinator to discuss ways to prevent this sort of behavior in the future through signage and patrols, and urge all parents to discuss with their children the importance of respecting site such as this one.”
As expected, the comments on Facebook and social media were (sadly) not shocking, as residents slammed Orthodox Jews for their actions. Additionally, as expected, prominent Jewish community activists (sadly) responded on social media by attacking Ed Day for being an anti-Semite and a divider and for “exploiting the 9/11 memorial because a bunch of kids sat on it.”
Day posted the following follow-up this morning:
“When certain issues are discussed, some feel the need to turn the issue into a broader attack on a particular religion or ethnicity, and others feel that even raising the issue itself is a sign of prejudice. Specifically, photos depicting various instances of disrespect at memorial locations across this nation should be used as a teaching moment, not a diatribe. As one who responded to the first attack on the World Trade Center, I am personally troubled that these sites, designed for peaceful, quiet reflection are increasingly being used as Jungle Gyms.
My team will continue to do their best to moderate posts that include slurs, foul language, or unfairly attack any religious group or ethnicity. Likewise, I will continue to address issues such as overdevelopment, social services fraud, and others without fear or hesitation. If comments that one finds offensive make it through the filter or are left up in the interest of free speech, it does not mean that I endorse the opinions they contain – they belong to their author only, as does every comment on this page. My official comment policy can be found in the “About” section of this page.”
One Jewish community activist tweeted “It is ironic that @ElectEdDay is using 9/11 memorial to incite & divide. It seems Mr. Day is the one disrespecting 9/11 here. Tragic indeed.”
One needs to merely peruse social media to see the sheer number of negative posts about “Hasidic Jews” the past 2 days to realize how we are being watched. Not every post is anti-Jewish. But the vast number of postings are a reminder of how closely we are being watched.
Some of those posts are absolutely horrifying. Of course, our knee-jerk response to all this is, “Oh, they are a bunch of anti-Semites.”
It is high time for us to wake up and do some serious introspection.
When a prominent community figure calls the FDNY “Nazis” at last year’s Sereifas Chometz, this will not correct the problem. Was a proper apology ever made? Or do people now firmly believe that it’s okay to label heroes who risk their lives every day to protect us “Nazis.”
Perhaps it is time for our leaders to have a closer look at the social media to see how closely we are being watched. The time has come to pull our heads out of the sand and start educating our children as to how to act like a Jew.
We wear Yarmulkas on our head. That means “Yarei Malka.” It is time to live up to that designation and realize that the symbolism is more than just a piece of cloth. We wear Tzitsis to remind us of the 613 Mitzvos. It’s time to start fulfilling the greatest one of those 613 Mitzvos – making Kiddush Hashem, not a Chillul Hashem.
So before we venture out today and tomorrow, perhaps we should review some of the basics. Firstly, we should be extremely cognizant of what constitutes Chilul Hashem and Kiddush Hashem. Secondly, we should avoid selfish behaviors and attempt to be as altruistic as possible.
Gut Moed, and Chag Kosher Vesameach.
YWN Editor.
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176 Responses
Brandish your cell phone camera and tell the miscreants that you are taking photos for an article on chillul Hashem. That just might do the trick.
To the editor: Thank you so much for this much needed article. I, myself, have seen the massive chilul hashem that goes on. And, I MUST add, that the culprits are always charedim. I do not see Modern Orthodox kids behaving anything kike this. Sadly, it comes from the parents. If you are ever in Monsey, just stop by the parking lots at Evergreen or Rockland Kosher and see how these guys drive; its a wonder that more people are not getting hit by cars. And as a rider of the Monsey bus, I cannot tell you how many times some charedi just walks up to the front of a line – I wish I had a dollar for every time I mentioned it and every time, without fail, the guy said “I didnt notice a line”. yeah right.
We are r”l lacking so many levels of midos and refinements that we are barely recognizable as yorshim of past generations. Musar and midot are hardly taught at home, and certainly neglected in school curriculum. We rely on shmussen and on inspirational publications (as in your advertisements) but it requires serious work and unrelenting practice. The tragedies at Rav Vosner’s levaya also boil down to heads full of errant ideas and lack of refined behavior. On chol hamoed, I heard Rav Brevda ztk”l bemoan what has become of chol hamoed. He said if he had the influence, he would rather people go to work (and by extension, children going to school).
What does this have to do with Hol ha-Moed? Is the author saying certain behavior is acceptable if done next week or two weeks ago, but not during Hol ha-Moed? He is aruging that people should know how not to make a fool of themselves (and our community), but what does that have to do with Hol ha-Moed?
I think we need to be careful about the name we make for ourselves as Jews but also to be don lecaf zechis mayb the child skipped the line because he was handicapped…
This is a must read for everyone! I too have witnessed multiple chillul Hashem over the last 2 days on Chol Hamoed outings. Pushing and cutting in lines, making a total mess with food and not cleaning up, never using the word “please” or “thank you” to any of the staff, not following rules, etc…
I wish the Rebbes would talk about this to their respective chassidic communities!
Don’t Chassidim realize that every goy is looking at these ‘strange looking’ people with extra scrutiny, and we have an extra responsibly to act like a mentch.
I believe that chassidim (and some other segments of the frum chareidi community as well) view goyim as someone not to be respected, the world is here to serve me, and are raised to show no hakaros hatov or proper etiquette to them. This has to change!!! Please Rebbes, please, focus on this! Derech Eretz Kodmah LaTorah!
This has to stop! Its embarrassing! You can tell that kol yisroel areivim zeh lozeh, because we all blush when we see our fellow jews behave this way. If you can’t behave, then stay home!
well yes indeed that figure had a meeting with the fdny after pesach to appologize for his actions…
Also can you bring examples where we yidden do behave
are we all misbehavors as your 3 guys replied only in the negative
yes we need to correct ourselves but please be even handed
——
When a prominent community figure calls the FDNY “Nazis” at last year’s Sereifas Chometz, this will not correct the problem. Was a proper apology ever made? Or do people now firmly believe that it’s okay to label heroes who risk their lives every day to protect us “Nazis.” – See more at: http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/editorial/299201/op-ed-by-ywn-editor-enough-of-the-massive-chillul-hashem-on-chol-hamoed-outings.html#sthash.j95Crbu6.dpuf
A huge Yasher Koach for this article. It’s hit the nail right on the head. Anti-Semitism of itself is bad enough. How much worse when we bring it on by irresponsible public behavior, as described in this article. I would only add that I have seen the same thing on flights to Eretz Yisroel for the Yom Tovim. There are a lot of frum Jews who have the idea that the airline pilots and attendants have something against us and use the flight to take it out on us. Actually, I’ve seen multiple incidents of frum people being rude to flight attendants, being irresponsible as to their own behavior around everyone else, and failing to keep their kids properly disciplined. I’m all for combating anti-Semitism and anti-Frumkeit. But we need to be a lot more circumspect about how we talk and behave to others so as to not be causing the problem in our own right.
#2
The fact that you actually believe that the culprits are ALWAYS chareidim, proves that you are delusional. And therefore we can be dan you leak zechus that your loathsome comment is not an even greater chillul Hashem than all these incidents.
The author couldn’t of written this better as a member of the hasidic community I must confess that he’s right on target and we need lots of improvement because we are THE CHOSSEN PEOPLE and so we shall act appropriately
Ed day is known for his lack of love for the jews. In fact a friend of mine challenged the original poster of the picture that allegedly took place near Monsey due to many inconsistencies in her story. The bottom line is something may have been wrong there BUT what was reported may not have been the facts.
Yasher koach on this very important article! We must be aware every single day of how the world views us. We are chosen to be a light, not a slight on the world. I’ve heard numerous times from non-frum and even MO Jews about how rude et al Chareidim are, both here and in EY. Brothers and sisters, if you can’t control your children, don’t take them anywhere. If you don’t throw your garbage on the floor of your home, don’t do it on the land and water that Hashem created for us. If your schools are not emphasizing mussar, then take that responsibity yourself, and discuss this with the Menahel. Because there’s a lot more to being a Yid then keeping kosher, Shabbos etc and wearing a particular levush.
This is the article I was meaning to write for a while.
It’s embarrassing to see how our own behave sometimes, and Chol Hamoed is the time when those scenarios replay many times over…
to the author
i thank you for writing this true & honest letter but very sad that its so true.
I would like to tell you about a major problem afffecting every person in todays generation-jewish or not- its called FACING REALITY. what happens today when tragedy strikes C”V-as we just saw at Rabbi Vosners Levaya-or when someone has a issue child? %75 percent of people will block (the wake up message from Hashem or the issue with their child etc…)it from their faces & just move on thinking they can fool Hashem that we don’t get his call to wake up & do teshuva, or do something for their problem child immediately before it becomes a major issue C”V.
This is why
1)people don’t have money today (cause they can’t FACE REALITY that their friend can have 3 cars but they can’t so they get a 3rd car & become penniless)
2)there is so much non-stop tzaros in klal yisroel (cause we can’t FACE REALITY & admit to hashem that we need to do teshuva, so the tzaros just keeps going & gets worse R”L)
Many more examples ….
may we all change our middos & remove the middah of sedom -self-centeredness-from our lives
I am not blind. I see that too. However, I do see much more Kiddush HaShem. I implore you to look with better glasses. Look at how beautiful Klal Yisroel is! Families spending time together and enjoying each other’s company. The overwhelming majority DO act properly. It was just a couple of weeks ago that you told the story about the gathering in the Barclay Center and how perfectly the girls behaved. How about the stories from the organizers of the Siyum HaShas?
Are we all perfect? no. We cannot possibly be compared to any other. We are way better! We are honest, kind and considerate.
Look around and see how beautiful we are!
Mi K’amcha Yisroel?
So proud to be a part!
I would like to be melamed zchus on Klal Yisroel. We were in the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum yesterday and the many charedi families present acted in a respectful and fine manner. Mincha minyonim impressed those watching, children waited on lines patiently, and kosher lPesach wrappers did not litter the floors. We were proud to be called charedim. An inquisitive non-Jew that approached us with a few quick questions was impressed with our answers and behavior. Am Yisroel, keep up the good work!
Akuperma – Read the article again. The author was specifying chol hamoed as a particularly worse time for this behavior.
Dotty – If the author had stopped the line cutter and they respectfully answered “our child is handicapped” then that event wouldn’t have made it into this article.
HadEnoughOfGalus – Sorry, Rebbes aren’t reading YWN, especially the comment sections.
You know, when you have to name your chassidus after the street you are on in order that you don’t get confused with another chassidus that you are in machlokes with, imagine what that shows those chassidim?
Anyway, this author is 100% right!!! This should be archived and re-published by YWN before every Chol Hamoed!!!
Very well said
Thank you so much for this article. Although it will be disregarded by the worst offenders, if it wakes up a few people, it is a wonderful and vital achievement. Yasher Kochachem!!!!
akuperma commented that this has nothing to do with chol hamoed. I am so sorry that his comment was posted. His/her trivial and irrelevant comment does nothing but weaken this important message. It’s obvious that during chol hmoeed the problem is exacerbated and magnified, and it is davka now that the message should be emphasized. Alevai that it will make a difference all year round!
For all the people trying to make this a not me, or ultra orthodox only stereotype. You would find selfish people in all religions, ethnicities and races.
It may be true that in some cases ultra orthodox have more out of ordinary behavior, it’s due to less exposure, and not about carelessness.
This article is very important, but I dislike it’s tone. Stories and examples are of no use, since these few people won’t listen anyway. It should be written as a teaching article to people who do care, that certain behavior, although permitted in your local grocery or shul, sound weird when in a non Jewish place.
A few comments about the article
If you don’t want people to tie their shoes (she wasn’t just sitting) on a public memorial, don’t shape it like a bench. And have some sign to advice people to respect this place, or gate it with a low fence.
This article has to do with Chol Hamoed because Chol Hamoed a time that a lot of people think is a good time to go out and do fun things.
Sadly this article is true. I see this all the time. The mothers are to blame. They don’t teach their children respect. It’s passed down. I feel so embarrassed when I take my children places and I see other “frum” children acting disgustingly. Heimishe wrappers all over the place, climbing on things they shouldn’t, while mothers and fathers stand there and watch. I went to Storybook time in NJ on Monday and a father and son refused to take off their Yarmulkes for the roller coaster. The worker had to ask them so many times , that it delayed the ride. Common sense.. If you don’t take it off then it will fly away- take it off for the ride and have it for the day. They ended up pulling their jackets over their heads. I was so embarrassed. How many times Have I held the door open for someone and they don’t even acknowledge me. Everyone says shidduch crisis. It’s 100% not . It’s chinuch and respect. Oh and mothers. Its really just the whole attitude off the frum world. They think( I’m frum but I don’t act like this or teach my children this way) that because we are Jewish we can act anyway we want regardless of the outcome. This wouldn’t and doesn’t happen in the modern world. They teach respect. Before any one rebuttals this. Think about it for a long time. I’m right. I have much more to say, but it’s long enough. I would hate to see the Bronx Zoo today. Free day.( wrappers all over the place)
The author of the article deserves lots of credit. We are our own worst enemies. We should make no mistake: Those who bring dishonor to עם השם will be made pay dearly.
ok ok ok ok………. while I agree with the writer entirely!!!!!!!! It would be wise for some of the commentators here to be careful not to shift the focus of this article by talking against chareidim vs. Modern orthodox… etc…. Cus automatically anything said here will be lost. Simply, because the writer needed to write this and someone like #2 needs to shut up!!! There’s enough MO teens that are leaving and fruming out because they don’t like the other side of the coin.. always impressing the olam hagoy and conforming in ways that are contrary to the torah… So lets not go there….. On the other hand I do have to say that this writer has mighty big eyes… I see a lot with one blink of my eye but thats a whole lot….
Lastly, baruch hashem here in eretz yisroel we make beautiful seudos every afternoon. We bring in different tastes and colors and invite different people…. The kids love it. ITS FAMILY TIME, NOT OUTING TIME!!!!!!!!!!!
#3 dont become gods bookkeeper… what happened at rav wosners levaya are hechere meises. There have been levayas much bigger than that and noone died… it was a peaceful levaya and if you want to blame you can blame on many things…some said he’s written not to take the aron into the shul and they did… others say there was an inadequate amount of organizations… or much pushing.. silly stuff to talk about… the tragedies are from shamayim as karbanos. Please do not farmish yotzros….
#6 when he refers to chareidim he doesn’t only mean one part of chareidim…. with rebbes…. many MO or irreligious pple don’t know the difference between a down hat or a velvet hat; it’s all black to them!
Dkbmd ever heard of someone being embaressed what if their child was ill and they didn’t want to say. We have to look at the positive of call yosroel and say who is like us. Look at the good and besides being Dan leccaf zechis is a bigger mitzvah when it’s harder. So u xant think of a reason why they did what their doing that hashem testing you to see if u will judge them favourably
These are the “man bites dog” stories, which is why these stories get prominent placement. (That and because the stories in fact are intended to be anti-chareidi despite the disclaimers otherwise; otherwise why the need to point out it is chareidim?) These are the stories of the 1 in 1,000. The 999 out of the 1,000 act exemplery. And since there are so many Chareidim, B”H, with Chareidim being 71% of Orthodoxy and 81% of Orthodox Jews 30 years old and younger (and the younger you get the higher the percentage of Orthodoxy that Chareidim constitute), all per the Pew Research from last year, no wonder out of 100,000 Chareidim you find a handful of stories.
Moderators Note: Interesting to note that you failed to make any comment in this article http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/headlines-breaking-stories/296418/photo-chasidic-man-makes-kiddush-hashem-at-scene-of-manhattan-building-collapse-by-handing-out-pastries.html
And not on ANY of the other Kiddush Hashem stories posted on YWN that past month.
please continue trying to educate all of us how to behave better in the general population
and especially on memorials
and ruining the enviorment
thank you
After reading all these comments I must conclude that perhaps the writer did address this issue with a tone that lent itself to such hatefull comments. It is a known fact that the tone of the comments to an article are a reflection to the tone of the article itself.. What a pity!
The fault lies in our chareidi schools and the chareidi homes for children imitate what they see. They are not taught that chillel Hashem is worse than eating chazir, pig. They are not taught chillel Hashem period.
Why does someone need to dawn his best begadim in order to commit aveiros for which there is no t’shuva?
Yom Tov brings out the best in us and the worst as well. Boruch Hashem, in certain communities, the shuls and batei midrashim are packed with bein hazmanim bochrim learning b’hasmada on their “vacation” (it is a thrill to behold), yet on the flip side, I feel sorry for the non-Jew or non-Orthodox who $pay admissions to witness our crass behavior.
And it’s a shame that my grandchildren seek places to visit which have not yet been discovered by frum Jews.
When you dress and look differently people are not looking at you because you are jews, they are looking at you because you are different. If an Amish acted the same you would get the same results.
Also what might be appropriate in a charedi community might not be appropriate in general society. Chol Hamoed is generally the only time Charedim go out in familes like this so thats why its noticeable at this time of year
Moderator: I wasn’t referring to the intentions of YWN. I was referring to the intentions of letter writer by virtue of the language he utilized, specifically referring to “Chareidim” numerous times. If instead of Chareidim it had been blacks, do you think he would dare criticize black people based on the bad apples of some blacks? Do you think even if writing about those bad apples, he would have even once, let alone repeatedly, pointed out those bad guys are black guys?
In response to #5, everyone is handicapped. Their handicap is thinking that they own the world and can do whatever they want. Walk around in BoroPark and you’ll see for yourself.
I wish this article would be published in all Jewish papers, and The Torah Times. All schools should send this home. And yes to the moderator, more people should have commented on the Kiddish Hashem article.
Well Said Editor…Well Said.
YWN, thank you so much for this article. The behavior described above has been bothering me for quite some time.
I think over all the Frum Jewish community is something to be proud of. Proper behavior and respectful. In a big community there normally are a few who may need to be more “cultured” (Derech Eretz Kadma LTorah) It may also e a chilul Hashem when we see on the web postings of some people wanting to publicly express their hatred of Israel. A country where we al face in our prayers praying to return with the Bais Hamikdosh rebuilt in it soon. And where 6 million fellow Jews live. Perhaps the perveyors of that Chilul Hashem need to be “cultured” as well. (The Nations of world officially welcomed us hom in 1917 Balfour Declaration and 1922 League of Nations reaffiriming of the Jewish Homeland in “Palestine”. seems to resolve 3 shvuos issue, as a side point)
I actually dread Chol Hamoed. For one simple reason, I have no choice but to venture out with my kids and see the same garbage every year make a scene.
One unforgettable one, Staten Island Zoo, there was a sign that read in English and Yiddish “Please do not feed the Animals Matzah”. Lo and behold countless kids were doing just that. The stories go on and on. How sad
@akuperman it has nothing to do with chol hamoed. It actually starts before that and doesn’t end. Two years in a row I have taken garbage bags and shovels to clean up the huge mess left erev pesach after the “mitzvah” of biur chametz in front of the rite aid on Nostrand Avenue (K and l) or on its corner. This year I wasn’t there so I don’t know but I have seen burnt chametz on corners. Sreifas chametz is a derabanan, chillul Hashem is a deoraysah. How many reminders do we need to tell us that we are guests here wherever we may be and as such must act accordingly.
I don’t really know how to phrase this, but I really have to write some response here. I went out on chol hamoed too, and saw lots of yidden out as well. I only saw polite behavior. I did not see anyone throwing their trash where it did not belong, no cutting lines, no trying to get two children in on one ticket. None of that. Most yidden behave the way they are supposed to.
We are the chosen people and the light among the nations. People do look to us for the best behaviors – whether it is on vacation, in reference to fire safety (no offense meant to the family), as public officials and in any other manner of behavior. The methods we use as parents, spouses, business people and other; is scrutinized. We are judged more harshly because we are the chosen people. Let’s use
this as an opportunity and not a reason to look down upon our neighbors as “bad people”. The Jewish people are needed to light the way for others. Let this Chag – the holiday of freedom – allow us to be free of the problems which may hold us back from being a light among the nations (personal, professional, etc).
Dotty:
If every problem/challenge we have is swept under the rug, under the guise of “Dan likav zchus”, “Lashon Harah”, “Kiddush Hashem”, “Me Ki’amcha Yisroel”, etc…nothing will ever improve. If you are saying that every Frum Jew is perfect, and we no longer need those antique Mussar Sefarim, why hasn’t Mashiach come yet? How do teich up the pushing & shoving that took place at Rav Wozners livaya (and led to multiple deaths)? Did that come from Middos Tovos? Of course, one can not generalize. B”H, most Frum Yidden are well behaved, but that doesn’t pattur up speaking out when we witness these Chillul Hashem.
I saw with my own 2 eyes, yesterday, in Deno’s Wonder Wheel Park in Coney Island, a Father wearing his Bekeshe, standing by the “pay to use” restrooms right next to the Ferris Wheel, telling his 3 little girls to climb through the turnstile without paying! I turned around and saw all 3 Goyisha employees watching it unfold. They looked me in the eye Ke’ilu, what are they doing? I was so embarressed and had nothing to respond! It was clearly a terrible Chillul Hashem!
Thank you YWN for publishing this & not “covering up” such behavior.
Geulaa, I get it. We should write it off as hecher maises and korbonos, and go on our merry way. Ignore megalglin chova al yedei chayav, ignore low life behavior and pushing like cattle at the feed lot. If it is for purpose of mitzva it’s all good.
I think the problem is right here, in the authors article. Giving example after example of things that are a “chillul hashem”, when instead he should just be pointing out that they are simply violations of common decency, and simply living in a society.
This constant feeling that we have to watch our behavior lest we shame g-d implies that if no one is watching, that behavior would be okay. It is not sending the right message to our children, at all.
It is time to stop worrying about whether something is a chillul hashem and preach good behavior simply because that is what human beihns should exhibit. It’s no wonder there is so much anti semitism regarding this type of public behavior.
Git Meshige – I agree 100%. I think overall the Frum community behaves excellently, something to be proud of. But especially if there is a sign the parents must stop their kids. (Especiially if we are talking about hand matsah)
the sad thing is, we act without Derech Eretz even to our fellow yiden, as we all know…
I would say step one should be – put a smile on your face and greet your fellow human being with human dignity.
Im not saying to cover it up-But dont pubicize and amplify the negative With all due respect I spent the day in Palisades Center yesterday and the 2 hour line for one of the attractions felt like only a few minutes because it was such a pleasure to be surrounded by such the beautiful children of hashem. Yes they are children and its normal that they need to be guided to do the right thing here and there But their misbehavior doesn’t compare to that of the Olam.Its Pesach! Get the Mitzrayim out of yourself and change your glasses! You are being tested when you see something that bothers you. How should you respond?
i think it is right that YWN publish this article and the inference on Chareidim is simply because the more Chareidi you look the more obvious your jewishness and then the more Chilul Hashem it does not mean that only chareidim behave like this its just that it is a greater problem. I have seen very poor behaviour by non religious jews as well but it doesnt seem to matter as much.
If you are going to use the media and the internet to reprimand then you should also use the same tool to catch Klal Yisrael doing things right! Because they do a lot of right. ABC of Chinuch! I think Hashem will be very happy when good news!kiddush hashem! and Lashon Hatov make the headlines too!
Moderators Note: When YWN published dozens of articles and photo galleries of Jews making a kiddush hashem in the past two weeks alone, we didn’t see you post one comment thanking YWN for that.
While we’re on the subject of Chillul Hashem, may I add a commment about how chareidim dress? There seems to have developed the notion that the more unkempt a person dresses, the frumer and holier he shows himself to be. Dusty hat? Wrinkled jacket (black of course)? Shirt (white, of course) hanging out of the pants? Ill fitting pants? Dusty shoes? Unkempt beard? (And let’s not talk about body odor.)
Besides being a bezoyon for the tzelem elokim that the person is, a charedi also represents Hashem and His Torah. (And, also, how can one daven before Hashem, the King of Kings, when he’s dressed like this?)
Do you want to see how a yid should look? Look at Rav Lau (father and son). Rav Shlome of Bobov z’l. There are many other rabbonim and ordinary people, litvaks and chassidim, who take their dress very seriously, because they understand that they represent Hashem and His Torah.
Look at the old pictures of the talmidim in Mir, Telz, Slobodka. While there were many reasons why they dressed so slick, one of the reasons was surely because of kovod haTorah.
No one is saying you have to dress in a tuxedo. Times change and styles change. But cleanliness and respect should always be in style for a yid.
Yasher Koach to the Editor!
You will no doubt face numerous comments attempting to pin an anti-charedi or overall anti-Semitic agenda to your post, but this is to be expected. When people feel themselves a part of a humiliated group, they will always try to mitigate the humiliation of that group by attacking the person criticizing it before addressing the reason for the criticism.
To ignore your sensitively stated criticism is to ignore chilul Hashem, and that is something that our ancestors have died rather than ignore. But of course here, on the wilds of the internet, it is a lot easier to wail “anti-Semitism” or “self-hating Jew” at anyone posing a valid criticism.
No-one is suggesting that charedim are responsible for all the wars, run the banks and the media and were responsible for 9/11. The only advice here is advice that should ideally not be necessary to spell out: don’t disgrace Hashem in public. Be MORE careful than you might normally be, as the public eye is upon us now more than it generally is.
That’s it. That’s all the message being conveyed. If people wish to twist this message into the shape of a self-hating Jew rant, that is only to duck the introspection and responsibility-taking that SHOULD come in the wake of this letter.
Sorry to be the odd man out but is it “Chareidi” behavior we should be bashing or the “tri-state” behavior we should be bashing….Spend next chol hamoed out of town and lets see if you all still feel the same….
The points made in this article are definitely points we must consider. As Chareidim, we feel like family, and certain universal laws of etiquette are overlooked, and that’s more than OK with all of us. But we must realize that the rest of the world does not participate in the Chareidi understanding that we have with eachother, and therefore we must constantly be on our best behavior when dealing with others.
Also, not to mitigate the points brought in the article, I feel that we hear so much mussar, we need to hear how gevaldig it is to part of the Am Hanivchar! B’emes- ashreinu ma tov chenkeinu! to see so many erliche, happy, yiddishe families on trips having such a great time is a truly enjoyable sight. I saw a yungerman arguing with a bike rental manager that he owed more to him than he said to pay! Wow! We must keep this in mind too, to feel a shtultzkeit in being a yid, the Am of Hashem!
It comes down to respecting others and respecting accepted rules of behavior — not in order to win respect- That is not in our hands. But because that is our role…
#3
megalgalin zechus…. avdus is a personal journey for everyone. what you need to work on is not what I need to work on and so on…. To start pin pointing in public what “you think is the reason” has no point to it and can bring about lashon horah for no reason. The problem with learning lessons and changing is precisely this; that its become a public project and therefor it doesn’t have those deep effects as when its man and himself, thinking , introspecting and changing…. I don’t wanna bust your bubbles but your suggestions or suspicions are silly. Look yourself into the mirror when you’re alone in your room. think deeply about your inner self (which is you alone and noone elses self) and set yourselves boundaries , conclusions and resolutions in the area you know you’re lacking… as we learnt in second grade: “change yourself and you’ve changed the world” anything else is a waste of words and can even serve as a kitrug ch”v.
Kol Hakavod to YWN for publishing this article. This is the flip of Kol Yisrael Areivim Zeh Lazeh: we are as good as the weakest link l’aynay ha’amim.
Moadim L’simcha!
אשריכם ישראל מי כמוך
I support wholeheartedly the editorial stance in this article, and would also like to add, in my humble capacity, that the way we behave on Chol Hamoed is of course no different from the way we behave all year round.
The only thing that’s different about Chol Hamoed is the opportunity we afford non-Jews of observing us.
Developing good middos, as we learn repeatedly, is a long-term, life-long task. If there is something wrong with the way we are behaving on Chol Hamoed, that means that there is something seriously lacking in our overall Jewish education.
Living in big cumminities, BH, it’s easy to forget there’s an outside world out there. But we have to remember the fact in order to keep our own behavior in check – and doing so actually helps us. That’s one reason why H’ placed us in golus in the first place.
Let’s focus on trying to bring our children up to be refined beings in the deep sense of the term, and to try to moderate our own behavior, EVERY day of the year.
First of all,on a positive note,the places I’ve been to chol hamoed,I’ve seen beautiful respectful wonderful children ,that are polite and look to make a kiddush Hashem!! To the author ,how dare u post a picture of another fellow Jew on the internet,trying to embarrass him and his family???? To me that’s an even bigger chilul Hashem! One Jew against another.how about some ahavas yisroel? Embarrassing a fellow yid in public (yes someone might recognize them or know they went to this place)is like spilling their blood.a gutten Moed
There’s a lot of good- like chessed orginizations, refined behavior etc but there is also a significant amount of sub par public behavior and attitude towards others. Much of which is cultural, but not excusable.
I’ve been a follower of ywn for sometime now but this article has compelled me to register so I can post a comment. Its true that BH we have many stories of Jews making a kiddush Hashem. In just the past couple of weeks YWN posted about the yid bringing baked goods to the firefighters of the gas explosion. We also read about the unbelievable kiddush Hashem of the thousands of bais yaakov girls who joined together for the yartzeit of Sarah Schneiner (personal witness to that). I would like to add though, as a teacher to young bais yaakov girls for 8 years… I cry over the lack of basic derech eretz- and every year it worsens. Its at a point where I stop in shock/surprise if one of my 9 year olds thank me for something. Just the other day I had to explain to them that goyim aren’t dirty, they aren’t evil, they are creations of Hashem and we have to respect all creations of Hashem. Yes, there will be those (perhaps many) sonei yisroel, but as Jews, derech eretz kadma laTorah. We are decent, refined children of hakadosh baruch hu. We have an obligation to show that to every person, yid or non Jew. Let’s make our Father proud..
Wishing all my fellow Jews a beautiful rest of chag!
This is why Rabbi Avigdor Miller predicted in 1980: “One day the Americans will build BETTER gas chambers than the Germans!”
Two small anecdotes – neither on chol hamoed…..
A family member was critically ill and was hospitalized in the same room as a “chishuve” person. The way his entourage acted was an absolute biz ayin – not only to the apparently non-Jewish staff but to our (less overtly choshuv/chasidishe/heimish) family as well. One staff member asked my brother, “are you sure that all of you are the same religion?”
I was in an upscale department store right around the winter holidays. The crowds were massive. Two young chasidishe ladies pushing strollers blatantly ignore the security guard’s request to go to the right to reach the escalator, and charge through, lifting the rope barriers. They get to the escalator, and, once again, blatantly disregard the guard’s request NOT to ride the escalator with a stroller, as it poses a danger to the children as well as other shoppers. The remarks this caused were blood curdling – “too busy to grab a bargain to follow directions,” “money before babies – after all, they have a lot of them…” Etc. the crowning glory – hearing these two veiblach complain about the anti Semites
Sometimes it’s sad that “mi ke’amcha yisrael”
I have not researched the subject yet, but the inyanim of kiddush Hashem and chilul Hashem are not polar opposites. In terms of reality, there are many things that are kiddush Hashem, yet few of these have impacted on Klal Yisroel in a major way. History is replete with beautiful stories, but nearly all end in a version of a hatzolas yochid, not a major elevation for Klal Yisroel. I’m sure there are exceptions, but they are certainly not the rule.
Chilul Hashem works very differently. Any single event, which to you or me, may seem trivial, can have profound impact on how the world sees Klal Yisroel. That we must convey to each other, adults and children, the need to be ממלכת כהנים וגוי קדוש is without question one of the major missions we have today. It was the criteria for Mattan Torah, and it is critical for our existence in a world that contains so many other forces and influences.
first I would like to thank the author for bringing this to our attention.
Being that we are all religious Jews we know how important life is on this world and what we truly need to accomplish and we kind of forget that we actually need to accomplish all that while we live BETWEEN the Goyim and now we can add the social media world. Look what the social media has done to all the police departments and how so many good police officers and dept. are being judged by short clips and camera recordings.
In our defense ( B”H for good reasons )Most of the religious Jewish people do not fully understand the magnitude of problems that social media creates and we don’t realize how many issues that are minor in our eyes because we have a different view on so many of them or because we think our children will eventually out grow them but are really major in the eyes of the goyim. especially if they are looking to find issues with us because we are a better people…
the bottom line is I think we all need to slow down a bit and concentrate on growing good and MENTALLY healthy children to learn Torah .. By Not running out every night to everyone’s simchas and shabbos sheva.b. and kiddushes and by making gorgeous simchas we can’t afford and living lifestyles that are simply impossible to maintain.. it’s really not a wonder that if we live this kind of life of crazy pressure that we cannot possibly concentrate on every little bit that ALL OF OUR CHILDREN Do
There’s another aspect of this that is very concerning. This kind of behavior seems to indicate an almost lack of recognition that we are in Galus. Since WWII and until recently, by the grace of Hashem the Jews in Western countries have been allowed to live relatively peacefully. Instead of being careful not to draw negative attention to ourselves and being thankful and model citizens, we have, to a certain extent, become used to this easy living. In many ways frum Jews take it so much for granted that we have come to believe that we DESERVE good treatment. Some even feel like the nations who have been hosting us are only here to serve us. We work every angle to get financial aid and free lunches, section 8 housing and Medicaid, sometimes crossing legal lines, causing embarrassing headlines. We teach our young couples to milk the system as part of their financial planning.
Years ago, a friend who lives in a largely Jewish community in Brooklyn ranted to me that the yearly marathon that runs through her community is done so only to anger the Jews living there. Her community really believes this. According to her, the Jews of the area were infuriated that the marathon hasn’t been rerouted. The police approved the route many, many years ago. I highly doubt that they gave any consideration to the fact that the sight of the runners might disturb the sensibilities of the Jews living in that part of the 26 mile long route, but even if it did, it’s a few hours one day a year – look away! Walk down other streets! When I tried to suggest this, she said that since her community leaders explicitly asked for a route change and the police refused, it’s clearly meant to insult her community. Really? Because of the size of the marathon, it MUST run down wide streets and rerouting would be a very big deal. I don’t know if it ever got done, but to me the attitude of entitlement was shocking.
We have become so comfortable that we really believe that the world should bend to our will. As my mother, A”H used to say when I was a child, “In the ghetto you didn’t need anyone to remind you that you were a Jew. The Goyim took care of that.” Until recently, we’ve lived rather nicely without such big reminders. Let’s not give the world more reason to dislike us. Let’s not give them excuses they can use to justify treating us badly.
Well said YWN
I actually try to think of a place for my kids where I won’t find Jews. I’d rather my kids exposed to goyim than obnoxious Jews.
I asked my friend this year where I can find a place with no Jews- his response: church
It is a very sad situation. We took our family out today to an indoor place. As the day wore on, the place became jam packed. Many of the people there were chareidim or chassidim.
I was waiting with my daughter by a ride. She was the next one in line, and would be on it when they opened the gate for the next bunch. First, though, they had to get the other kids off. One mother there starts to open the gate, and says, “I’m going to get my kids!” The worker saw and heard her, and said, “Please, wait outside. You can’t just walk in. I’m helping the kids get down. Please wait outside.” He then turned around and began helping kids out of the ride. She said, “No, it’s ok!”, opened the gate, and walked right in!
In many cases, this isn’t just a way to keep things moving. It’s a liability issue. People aren’t allowed to walk around in there. When a worker tells you to wait, don’t ignore him! You need to listen!
A bit later, my wife took our daughter to a ride – one of the kid rides with the planes that go around in a circle.. There were two seats per plane. So my daughter is sitting, and a chassidish boy comes and sits next to her. A few seconds later, he has the nerve to ask her to move, because he doesn’t want to sit next to a girl!
Perhaps this article should be printed in yeshiva and be read by the teachers.
I am not saying that I am holding anywhere near this madreiga..but..I strive to feel more and more that yidden are family, and it’s not geshmak to talk about or listen to negative things about close family members that you love alot-it’s imply painful-And since the Eibeshter is our Tatte-it’s certainly not geshmak for Him to hear negative things about us …especially from us.
Unfortunatly a very needed article.
Sometimes the behavior one witnesses in Tri-state and in Lakewood is hair raising. And sad.
We need to speak out – TO THE PERSON WE ARE WITNESSING, time and again whenever we see it.
It worked with making smoking “out”. It would work here too, if it became out of fashion to behave badly.
I want to thank #15 for a beautiful respone.
You deserve your moniker / Handle / screen name.
As pertinent as the points being made by the author of the article and those making the comments, I can’t imagine Hashem is enjoying the dumping on his children.
The point was made. No more examples needed, lanaiyas dati
Great article. My experience has shown that its more of a issue with very yesheevish, chaseedish types then reg frum flatbush / monsey / fivetowns type
As someone who doesn’t read YWN and definitely doesn’t comment, I felt it necessary to comment because this article really resonates by me. I am part of the chareidi community in Chicago and I always am very makpid how I act and how my children should act in situations like this. I must say that the past few days, taking my children to places jam packed with both Yiddin and non Jews it was very telling how much of a kiddush Hashem all the yiddishe children made. I was very pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t only Chicago children but everyone I saw was behaving and mentchlach. It was a huge kiddush Hashem like it should be!
This is horrible and I too witnessed a chillul Hashem at Six Flags, when 2 teenage boys decided not to follow the rules on the carousel ride and were horsing around. The operator stopped the ride earlier and all the other riders were told to get off as well. All the riders that complained were mostly Goyim. I could hear them yelling it was not fair. I went to confront the boys about the chillul Hashem they caused. Apparently one kid was Israeli and did not understand (not in an excuse though) One Goy came over and told the kid, “thank you for ruining my kid’s day” and ” you have no respect”
I think maybe instead of stop the talking in shuls ads I see, maybe a “stop the chillul Hashem” ads should be running. In English, Hebrew, & Yiddish!!!
A majority of I have to say is from the yiddish speaking crowd. The kids do not know english and well, the miscommunication is showing big time.
keep in mind that there aren’t only chareidi people reading these posts. To publish this article is a chilul hashem in itself. If you feel the need to publish it than at least you should also write all of the chessed and good that the chareidi community does.
Shame on all of you for commenting on others obviously bad behavior. What makes Lashon Horah “Muttor” today??? Yes they acted wrongly. Yes the writer may have been embarrassed to be lumped in with them because he’s Jewish- but that gives him no right to throw his dreck around like it doesn’t stink. After 120 we will all be shown how wonderful we ALL acted thru life- Mr. writer you’ll have a lot of explaining to do. How sad that a nation that comes together in tragedy is so willing to come together to berate and demonize your own brother. I’m embarrassed for you and the generations that come out of your children.
Hows about we put apicture of howgoyim act 2nd of all i was in six flags and my uncle was waiting in one of the lines for me and my nephwes and i was walking to where he was and as i was going some witch goy screamsvwhy r u cutting its bad enough u jews take over the place i even told her someone is waiting for me and sje didnot belive who do they think they r we are also human i am sure they do the same thing but when we do ot it is wrong
My dear brothers my heart crys for the terrible distortion of values!!! I ask of you. Which is worse sitting on some stupid 9/11 thing or cv drinking orange juice filled with treife bugs?? Where are our priorities? I’m not condoning throwing garbage but what about drinking garbage? Why is this the breaking news headline??? May Hashem bring the geula sheleima bikarov!!!
People notice things that stand out. That means that although the vast majority of frum people, whether “modern” “yeshivish” or chasidish, demonstrate only the finest midos, they go largely unnoticed, while if 10 families out of 10000 act like animals they are very much noticed. This is especially true of people wearing uniquely Jewish dress. Yes, it may be unfair that such a small percentage of our population represent, in the eyes of the world, ALL of us, but that is our responsibility which we accept with pride by dressing in a way which makes us apparent as Jews. Please don’t pretend that misbehavior is a Jewish problem and certainly not a “chareidi” one, but DO KNOW that we are the ones who are noticed.
And please note that it is very much loshon hara to suggest that a specific group is responsible for Chillul Hashem. This is even if it were true.
I strongly agree with realistic100 on the point that the perpetrators are not ill intentioned, and it is due to naivete and underexposure that their behavior is compromised. We need to be more cultured. We need to have more self-respect.
I know this sounds like borderline enlightenment, but it’s simple etiquette and propriety – plain middos tovos.
When I say “cultured”, I mean pushut eating gefilte fish and herring with a utensil (not with the hands), not overeating on shabbos, holding doors, being tzamgenimen, driving etiquette, not abusing credit card companies and department store returns etc. (and they see in which particular neighborhoods the “activity” is concentrated. dot. dot. dot.), exchanging pleasantries, being mentshlich and not behaving like a savage. It’s not that hard!
Parents and mechanchim should work on themselves, and then pass it on to our children.
Thank you YWN for publishing this article and thank you everyone for the encouraging comments!
Joking. But on a serious note I taka wonder what the heter to publish the picture of that family in the park. I am a dithering am haaretz; is it api tlasa course it was put on twitter? Very few Jews read that stuff and everyone reads ywn? I am positive the family would not want their picture posted.
#50,moderator, yes people should write in thank you notes more often, but it is still your responsibility to make sure Hashem will be happy with all your publishing’s that are shown to thousands of people.
and #74 please dont stereotype a group of people like that, i have seen some very nice yisheevish or chaseedic people around.
Thanks,
cant wait to see tens of articles stating what kidush Hashem was made all over the Jewish communities this Chol Hamoed!
I was very hurt to see that this was Actually an important topic to bring up. Although , you gotta give credit where it is due. The last two days that I spent outdoors with my family, I said ” shelo osani goy” with extra cavana!! Seeing how the goyim talk to their kids and are so self centered, I was proud to see how the yidden care for ther families with warmth and heart!!!!
I’m glad I was zoche to “shep Nachas”!!!
After all were all human every one with their pros and cons types and natures, to write such a statement is even a bigger Chilul Hashem then the stories it self, and let’s face it we as Jews were killed and persecuted for century’s not because some 1 skipped a line of 50 people and not because an innocent child set on a memorial stone etc. now I’m not justifying such behavior but in the other hand this is not the reason we’re hated and disliked by other nations, and guess what there will never be a reason for it. So before you write such a statement think is it really going to make a difference is it going to be productive enough and most important is it true and right to take a group of people who do so much chesed and so much tzedakah to judge them on individual human errors… Chag Samech
I am extremely appalled and pained by your coverage and this article. What will you do when you are looked in the eye and asked to give Cheshbon on this blatant Loshon Hara, perhaps even Motzei Shem Ra and the further Sinas Chinam which this article has caused and continues to cause?
Not everything needs to be said. We are living in a time where most feel that everything does have to be said and that everyone’s dirty laundry should be hung publicly. Moreover, it’s even our chiyuv to educate the public and help make people aware etc etc etc.
The path to Gehonim is paved with good intentions. This unfortunately is included on the long list of one of those..
People make mistakes, people mess up. We should help that the chillul Hashem should stop but obviously not by making a larger Chillul Hashem, at least so I thought.
It is a disgrace to have this article, with its wording on your site. Especially pinned to the top.
It is beautiful and noble that you at Yeshiva World are trying to take steps to prevent future Chillul Hashem and bring awareness and sensitivity, however the way which you went about it was exactly the opposite.
May you continue to provide the religious world with clean news and only do good and bring good to Klal Yisroel.
It is due to the behavior of such people as depicted in the article that I continue to believe that wearing Tzitzit out is a shame and a shanda to yiddishkeit…it is nothing but a fashion statement…and a pretty poor one.
I just arrived back to Monsey from The Castle its in Chester NY,It was full of Litvaks,Chasidim,Orthodox ,I can tell you one thing ,they behave and make a kidush hashem ,
I am very disappointed with the Town of Ramapo for not making a Big Deal of our 9/11 Monument just putting it like that in the park ,should of made a Monument with a gate and flowers around it like our heroes deserve ,instead theyvare busy that a small,child was sitting on it
i dont know how i feel about this article. on one hand i have seen chillul hashem take place in previous years on chol hamoed. on the other hand, i felt that this year everywhere we went there was a great kiddush hashem taking place with our yidden behaving exceptionally well. also,as one of the few remaining true and actual liberals, it pains me to see a minority group being singled out for harsh criticism. on the other hand, we SHOULD be held to a higher standard. so lemaskunu, i dont know whether i agree or disagree with this opinion or whether i feel it is true or not. so instead of worrying about what everyone else in my community does, i will take this opportunity to double down on my own personal interactions with society and make sure my family knows the importance of kovod habryos so that bezras hashem we should always be a kidush hashem and not cv the opposite.
I’m mot sure what your issue with the subway “fare evader” is the MTA explicitly post on its website that up to three children 44 inches tall and under ride for free on subways and local buses when accompanied by a fare paying adult. if there was a wife and husband that would entitle 6 children to ride for free. Moreever the 44 inch rule is itself not widely followed and would hardly qualify as a “chillul hashem” (see http://on.wsj.com/1w2GyDM) if anything your lack of being dan lakaf zchus, being quick to judge others negatively,and consequently posting you own insecurities about being a frum yid on a public website are a far greater chillul hashem.
Interesting that the same person saw all theses stories and no good things on all the places there was yiden
U see what u wanna see
This person is definitely a self hating Jew
The introduction is a totally lie
The flip side is the following.
I was walking with my extended family (included a few small girls). The lady behind us was a goy that had two girls who were qvetching. She turns to her daughter and says why dont you walk like the girls in front of us.
thats the way it should be
Sadly this article rings true. The chil;dren learn from their parents who show blatant discregard for the law and public safety when they are behind the wheel and park at crosswalks, pass stopped school buses and double park. This chillul Hashem is witnessed by the children, as well as the non Jews who work in or pass through our neighborhoods.
Whether we like it our now we are easily recognized (even with the baseball cap) and our actions positive or negative refect upon all Yiddin. Chol Hamoed is such an opportunity for Kiddush Hashem as our families go outside or our usual places, yet the opposite seems to occur.
Its great that everyone like to be Heimishe.
Lets just remember that public areas are no the place to feel/act that way.
It is the tone of this article that is distrubing as well as the headline. Of course there are people who may not know how to behave in the outside world but to label this as a “massive” chilul hashem is clearly hyperbole. All the commenters who write that it is this type or that type are clearly sorely lacking in ahavas yisroel and guilty of sinas chinam.
Additionally to add Ed Days post is truly insulting. I don’t think what the family in the picture did is so horrible. Maybe not fully respectful but they surely don’t deserve the public humiliation. If anyone thinks for a second Ed Day meant anything other than anti-semitism you are either naive or ignorant.
I hope YWN is proud to have earned a place on one of the most virulently anti frum websites out there. Just goes to show who appreiciated this article.
This article long overdue.
When a regular person watch these people they think they grew up in a zoo or just climbed down from a tree from the African rainforest.Everybody can come up with many examples of horrific behavior.
It is the TEACHER responsibility to teach Derech Eretz to the children,which they Completely Ignore.
Chassidim follow their Rebbe Blindly Unfortunately most of these Rebbes Only teach How TO PRACTICE Avodah Zorah worshiping money ,How to hate Israel ,organize demonstrations against BB .Warship Obama so he can help Iran kill 6 millions jews.
Telling the world that the 3 Israeli Teenager killed by arab terrorist is the fault of their parents,voting to bring gambling and prostitutes to New YORK, GOING TO Gayishe Courts to settle disputes I am not talking about the Current day Amolek .It is Teitelbum from Monroe and Wiliamburg.
I didn’t read through all the comments, and while I do agree with the writer that there’s lots of room for improvement, I’d like to point out that this is a chillul hashem BECAUSE we are held to a higher standard. More is expected of us than of the hamon am. That being said I have seen countless non Jews having their kids relieve themselves in public places. And vast majority of fare jumpers are not Jewish. Thank you. Git yom tov.
This behavior is the result of arrogant, uncivilized Jews who think they rule the world, and who don’t have to follow the derech eretz because it is not clearly in the shulchan aruch or their Rabbi never taught them about it. These people have to use their seichel a little bit.
And what are we going to do with traffic on 13th Ave. With double parking. And jaywalking on 13th Ave. It’s so dangerous and many are irresponsible really way they park or drive.
I spent the last few days several hundred miles from the tri state area with many other tri state area yidden. None of the behavior mentioned in article was exhibited by a single person that i saw, not that i look for it. Perhaps people are emboldened on their home turf.
many comments that appear on this site day also fall into the category of chillul hashem. I guess its easy to spot everyone elses chillul hashem.
We’re in the Sharon National Park and Beach in Israel. 1. The amount of trash we’ve seen in this beautiful National Park and on the beach is truly sad. Did Hashem give us free choice in order to trash His world?
2. I see frum parents allowing their kids to climb the cliffs right next to signs that say “DANGER: Landslide”, as they sit underneath. The stupidity, along with ruining the cliffs, is staggering.
I dont think or see that chassidishe people cause more Chillul Hashem-of course they stand out more with their dressing-every parent should make sure their children show respectful behavior at all times – please thank you tips have a nice day etc. We have to be a light unto the nations
Believe me, it is not restricted to New Yorkers. At Caesaria yesterday, my husband & I watched, appalled, as a Chareidi father hoisted his son up to climb a wall using a rope that for some reason was dangling down. Not two yards from them was a clear sign in Hebrew, English & Arabic: DO NOT CLIMB ON THIS WALL. Meanwhile, this kid was trying to haul himself up the face of the wall. We were sure he would fall, but when we said loudly they can’t read, Mom half heartedly told her moronic husband to get him down.
They were Israelis. Clearly, “rules” do not apply to Chareidim or Chassidim (I am Chassidish) All the chilonim (& they were 98% of visitors) behaved decently, respectfully & appropriately. We commented on this as we left. A sad indictment of the frum veldt. It’s not surprising Chilonim despise us.
Very well written article. I went to three outings with my family and B”h did not witness any chillul hashem. I would like to add however, there are three separate issues addressed in the article and although all three can be classified as “chillul hashem” they are not. 1) There are some things everyone knows is wrong, such as cutting lines. Leaving a mess after your picnic. This is a chillul Hashem. 2)sitting on a monument is that a chillul Hashem? I used to work in Manhattan I saw daily people doing far worse to monuments there then just sitting on it. Also how many disagreements were there with the 9/11 memorial. just recently people complained about an award they received. I wouldn’t classify this as a chilul Hashem. Its a sensitivity issue. 3) Sometimes we just can’t win. We have k”h large families and often extended families go on trips. this alone is a thorn in the eyes of many people.
And again Yw with it’s anti charaidi slur, shame on you for only seeing the bad side, interestingly I have gone to 3 places this CH and haven’t witnessed any Charaidi invasion! And just BTW a worker by funstation SI told me, I admire YOU people you are all so honest!!! But then again.. Wrappers
אשר בחר בנו מכל העמים ונתן לנו את תורתו Chill out everybody and recognize that we are the chosen people. It may not be PC any more but it is a fact. It cannot be changed by anyone, even the righteous YWN commentators. We do not have to bend to the cultural mores of those who were not chosen. Our job is to keep the 613 mitzvos. Where in that list is any commandment not to get on a bus first? Where in that list is there any commandment not to throw litter? However we are obliged to burn our chometz and in case anything inadvertently remains it is right to do it in the reshus harabim. This provides much needed employment for those who clean the streets.
Let’s also look at those who are making a kiddush Hashem.
I was in the Jerusalem rose garden and in the Jerusalem botanical gardens on the first and second day chol Ha’moed. Both parks were filled with all kinds of Yidden including many children. I was very impressed with the behavior of everyone and even made a comment to my companions about it, even before seeing this article. Every time there are a lot of families, friends, groups, etc. going on a public outing there will be all kinds of behaviors on display. We should focus on noticing the majority who are acting as they should. I have never done a study or taken a poll, but I would imagine in the same situation with non Jewish large gatherings not everyone is behaving as an angel. I wonder if the author of this article did a study on this and found that those groups were better behaved than the ones he is describing here. If they weren’t, perhaps the mere fact that in a similar situation the Jewish groups had less misbehaved individuals is actually a Kiddush Hashem.
Why so much Lashon Ha’ra in a public forum? Every day we’re are saying in Mussaf that it is because of our sins that we don’t have the Beit HaMikdash in our generation. Isn’t enough that we spent 40 years in the midbar because of speaking bad about the land – how much more, perhaps, speaking bad about Am Israel? Perhaps, this is why one Rabbi says not to read the comment sections.
In Central Park, there were plenty of observant Jews visiting Central Park Zoo. Those whose children were old enough to pay for an adult ticket did so. Good! Many complete strangers wished each other “gut moed.” Good! Some children were entertained by a street mime and the parents did not tip him. Bad!
Great article and very accurate facts. Not only on Chol ha Moed but in any other circumstances it’s very visible. We must behave & respect the others.
Very well said. Thank you to the author.
This has to be publicized in all jewish papers – not only for chol hamoed, menchlichkeit and middos, everywhere and all the time!
#67 – I assume your friend is from Williamburg..if that’s the case, I’d ask her what about all the roadblocks and heavy traffic on the erev yomtovs.. rebbishe weddings etc. Way bigger deal than the once a year marathon.
Indeed the attitude of entitlement is shocking..and sad.
#74 – I don’t think that’s the case. I’ve seen it plently..all kinds make a chillul Hashem. Unfortunately.
1) Chilul hashem if from yid to yid . not yid to aino yehudi
2) even if all stories are true, they are not allowed to be believed (loshon hara)
3) if you have a problem the way klal yisrael behaves , we have godolim and rabanim. DOING OUR LAUNDRY IN PUBLIC IS DISGUSTING AND VERY INCONSIDERATE. THIS IS MORE OF A CHILUL HASHEM THEN THE ALLEGED ACTIONS!
How we treat (and view) people who are different from us impacts greatly on how they treat and view us.
Somehow, being the “am hanivchar” has turned our attitudes into a snooty, better then thou one.
Please, do not think that they are unaware of this..
They see it, sense it, and it only serves to alienate us from them.
We are all creations of H’ and deserve basic respect as human beings.
There is another point here worth noting.
Parents who have children who misbehave cannot keep them home or away from others for 15/20 years. Misbehaving children does not in any way mean that parents approve, are oblivious to, or are ignoring the inappropriate behaviors.
Some developmental issues are simply not obvious to the observer, Jew and non-Jew alike.
Parents with children who are challenged with these issues are not going to share and discuss those challenges with every person on line that they encounter.
It is incumbent upon the observer to dan leaf z’chus and not assume the worst. A simple apology or causing others discomfort will have to suffice, but an explanation would be too much to ask.
This behavior is horrific.
However,
1. This is a very small minority. Yes, it’s still a chillul Hashem and we should all say something if you see something.But it’s still a very small minority.
2. All those here aren’t the ones doing these things. So while the article was well written and, in my opinion, justified, the comments are pointless, and probably major loshon harah for no reason.
Goyim don’t actually give 2 hoots what you do. You’re very sensitive to people you feel close to, but why doesn’t it bother you when someone else’s wife has an annoying mannerism? Goyim don’t care. They don’t go home to discuss the Jews outrageous behaviors. They don’t.but it would be great if we could try a little harder to not get in their way or make them roll their eyes. Honestly, they don’t understand our lives at all, nor do they care. This article is predicated on the arrogant misconception that everyone looks at us and watches us and takes notes and judges us. That’s a teeneage understanding of the world. In reality ,you do what you do, nobody cares that much as long as you’re not in their way.
I WAS IN POINT PLEASANT ON MONDAY AND THE LAKEWOOD YESHIVESH PEOPLE MADE A HUGE KIDDUSH HASHEM BY BEHAVING SO REFINED WITH THE UTMOST DERECH ERETZ.
OUR SHUL IN DEAL NJ HAS MOSTLY MODERN ORTHODOX CHILDREN IN OUR SHABBAT KIDS MINYAN AND THY LEAVE THE SHUL A WRECK BY THE TIME ITS OVER. CANDY WRAPPERS AND TISSUES ON THE FLOOR AND THE PARENTS RARELY DEMAND THAT THEIR CHILDREN CLEAN UP.
A FEW FRUM PARENTS ARE MECHANECH THEIR KIDS THAT A SHUL IS HOLY AND THEY SHOULD PICK UP THE MESS EVEN THOUGH IT WASN’T THEM WHO MADE IT.
As a BT I see behavior on a daily basis that both Glorifies Hashem’s Name and behavior that makes me cringe in embarrassment. This Chol Hamoed I took my family to Marine Park Nature walk which includes the large walking loop and playground. The sight of all the Frum Yidden was amazing! What I saw was “our People” dressed like a frum version of a Norman Rockwell painting from the turn of the previous century, They waited on a long lines for bikes where there was no foul language, no fighting, very tznius. The nature walk was a sight to behold. Jews walking in nature wearing Streimels, Black Hats, No hats, Kippah Srugah, some with No Kippah and Tzitzis. All very respectful. There were only 3 toddler swings in the park and I watched as I waited for the swing that the Frum parents would say to the children “Time to let another kid on” Perhaps it is the environment that bring out the best and the worst in people. Perhaps the places we are being told to go on Chol Hamoed are not really in our best interest.
I have not been religious for long. Raised more Traditional. Sadly, I find Orthodox Jews to be rude. what has already been written here plus more. I think the day schools, hebrew school and Yeshiva’s NEED to start teaching manners, being polite and consideration towards others.
I agree 100% with the writer I would also like to mention what I see on planes when I go to Israel and I’m sure other people have seen the same I’ll start by saying if for some reason as soon as theflight attendants would say that everybody should please return to seats it’s like the message to the chasidim to please get out of your seat and I’m not saying this to be hateful this is just what happens and I see it every time I fly to Israel just a complete lack of respect as for woman and non Jews and I’m also against entire plane switching seats just so three Chasidim don’t have to sit next to woman I would say just don’t fly its not worth the chilul Hashem this past time I had a pass the food and garbage to the flight attendant who was a one woman
With 119 comments posted so far, I guess this article has set a record for comments. So I must join in.
First of all, I am impressed by the absence of any strongly dissenting comments or outraged objections to your opinions. I was on a family outing yesterday (Chol Hamoed Day 3), and my spouse whispered to me that the Satmar seemed rude and unschooled in the common courtesies. I personally think that our data sets are generally insufficient to determine whether a particular group (e.g., Satmars, Hispanics, African-Americans, white cops) engages in an excessive share of improper behavior (i.e., anything from littering to homicide).
While I am not sure that Satmar are ruder than any other ethnic group, I do think that many Orthodox Jews do not recognize that part of the mitzvah of chesed includes observing a number of simple courtesies and social conventions, even if they seem not to have Jewish or Torhaic origins. I particularly find it annoying that some regulars to minyan fail to park “efficiently,” i.e., they take up too many spaces and make it necessary for subsequent minyan participants to engage in parallel parking exercises rather than be able to slide easily into a parking space. We did not have to park in the desert, and so there is nothing in Bamidbar that speaks to this issue. (Maybe someone wiser than I can examine the discussions of the encampments and positioning of the Tribes around the Beis Hamikdash to find some parking mitzvahs.)
But let’s not forget what happened in Israel several days ago, and the levaya of Rav Wosner – an Orthodox mob trampled to death two fellow Jews and injured many others. I think it starts with littering and line-cutting. Do we need an opinion from a Tzadik to tell us to be more careful and courteous outside our homes?
anordinaryjew writes: Chilul hashem if from yid to yid . not yid to aino yehudi. Wrong. Check Rambam, Hilchos Deos.
2) even if all stories are true, they are not allowed to be believed (loshon hara) Wrong. It’s le’toeles.
As you see, you are wrong on all accounts.
Even one incident of chilul HaShem is one too many. The tzidkus of Berrel doesn’t wash off the chilul HaShem of Shmiel.
YWN I think it’s time to take this article and all the comments down and cut the losses
“Some may label this op-ed “anti-Charedi” or “typical self-hating Jew drivel” – but it is not. This is not directed at any sect of Orthodox Jews in any way.”
No, it’s just stupid. And most of the commenters are missing the point.
It’s crystal clear from the tone and content of the article that the writer does not have the deep all-encompassing love for the sons and daughters of Hashem that he/she should. We should leave the mussar to those that are qualified to administer it. What we should not do is air our grievances (perceived or otherwise) on a public website. Why would you open a forum specifically designed to allow Jews to air their dirty laundry in public, a forum containing hundreds of comments dripping with the most vile Lashon Hora?
If I wanted to read anti-Jewish rhetoric, I could read what the Iranian leaders say about us, or even all those who comment on Ed Day’s Facebook page.
As Klal Yisroel, we are one family. Brothers and sisters. Would you write this about your own family member?
How dare you.
Yid613 u are quite right. It’s lashon hora for no reason. I think most people who this apply to understand and for those who don’t stop dwelling in others bad just to make you feel good it’s just as bad middos as making a chillul hashem.
Besides as I said before one needs to be don leccaf zechis.
#119, catch your breath, there is no reason to shout. It is certainly not in the spirit of the article, (with apologies to the editor for acting as his/her spokesperson) nor the writers intention that individual groups be singled out.
WH
When we teach our children that all goyim are bad and that they really all hate Jews then this type of arrogant behavior is bound to happen. Unfortunately such paranoid beliefs are all too commonly held by many of our brethren, People who believe such things will find it hard to genuinely care and show respect to non-Jewish people. If we want to fix the horrible symptoms we must first address the cause. “Eisav soneh es Yaakov ” must stop be being misapplied, as if it is one of the 13 Ikkrim and as if it applies to each and every non-Jew of every race and ethnicity.
#2: did u know that being mechalel shabbas is also a chilell hashem it seems like there is a bit of hatred spewing out of ur message in that case this conversation isn’t for u. We r trying to fix problems not create new ones.
@109 hershel2626
Good joke.
@yid613. You obviously don’t work with the general population. I cant tell you how many times i have been asked, “if you guys are the chosen ppl why did i see a jewish guy do so and so”. Or aren’t you jewish “supposed” to be better people how can a Jewish person do so and so.
Although it is true that the frum community has what to fix the fact is that our overall behavior is much better than anyone else the reason why this thing happened is because other communities modern reform etc. and the goyim as well are always looking at us in order to find something wrong. Everyone has faults if we would be looking at the goyim with a critical eye we would also find something wrong with their behavior and I’m sure we all have our stories about them and others Therefore we have to act even more carefully bec of this. And the posuk מי כעמך ישראל גוי אחד בארץ will always be true and anyone who speaks bad about us will have to give a דין וחשבון for their words
It’s amazing to see how some people just cannot take constructive criticism. The author is not recommending the death penalty here, he is merely saying, be careful and keep in mind that you’re a Jewish person and you should be extra careful.
I happen to agree fully with this article, I sometimes am embarrassed how we act and I am holding back from saying anything.
Interesting though, the people that cause these actions, are the one that can’t take the heat. How ironic
It is as old as the sugyah of choshud amemonah choshud ashevuoso that there is no connection for many people between “religious practice” and their general conduct. It is one reason Reb Yisroel started the mussar movement. However, very few people even take seriously the concept of shleimus. In the end we do things that are a chilliul Hashem. Get over it!! The other reality is that it may be a chillul Hashem but much worse it is these people that are making it so difficult to educate kids in the schools. If parents can’t tell their kids how to behave what are we supposed to do as educators? Especially when the parents blame the behavior on the school and teacher and tell the Principal not to give them mussar.
Finally, get out of New York and see Jewish kids in action. Most of those behaviors, especially the rude and inconsiderate stuff do not happen. They tend to be polite. They welcome newcomers to the shul. Out of town chareidi kids who are involved in kirv and chinuch are usually mekadeish shem shomayim on a regular basis. New York life is bad for midos!!!
we are the chosen people! i have seen many great jewish behaviors this Chol Hamoed! i have seen modern, yisheevish, chaseedic,” flathbushy”,” five-towns type” etc… they have acted with great midos!
And obviously i have seen lots of non jews misbehaving and fighting and calling each other names, i didn’t see that by the Jews! we are special.
Why cant we all look at what great things the Jewish people do to make Hashem proud?
As Jews we have a concept of Kiddush Hashem and Chilul Hashem. It is directly related to how we appear to others. Subsequently – how we appear to others IS important.
To a lot of people, it’s really tough to individualize behaviors seen by one person or a small group of people, if there are appearances shared with other people. If one wrongdoer looks Jewish, then the entire Jewish people looks wrong, for example.
This horrible thought process basically works like this: If one wrongdoer looks like other people, then the other people look wrong.
It’s an uncivilized way of thinking shared by many people – like what Ed meant, it is not restricted to any religious or ethnic class, since all people are equal. (inb4 genetic differences across races – racism is a society problem, any racial differences in society today are a result of society’s past failures – also it was the Nazis’ goal to “prove” that there is a superior race through genetic knowledge)
Unfortunately other peoples’ thoughts do matter. You/I/we can’t be careless about other peoples’ thoughts, we can’t shrug them off, even when they are stupid – stupid thoughts lead to stupid actions, and sometimes those stupid actions can be dangerous actions. History is full of these episodes.
The Germans were the most polite people bite shon danke shon polished boots shiny buttons etc. They were the most cruel and vicious in history. There is sooooo much chesed bikur cholim hachnosas orchim Tomche Shabbos etc. let us be proud and not worry about those looking to criticize. Thousands of families kh went on outings of course some people and kids can misbehave but overall we are bh ding
This article long overdue.
When a regular person watch these people they think they grew up in a zoo or just climbed down from a tree from the African rainforest.Everybody can come up with many examples of horrific behavior.
It is the TEACHER responsibility to teach Derech Eretz to the children,which they Completely Ignore.
What’s really appalling are the kind of comments being posted here , might as well be reading…..
Moderators Note: Comment was edited. Strong points, but YWN is not pointing to any individual sect or group.
What i find a bit puzzling,is the way we’re always so quick Dan lkaf zechus and shout ahavas yolisroel when it comes to the likes of Dov Lipman and his ilk, and yet when it’s charedim being bashed we readily join the haters.
Hmmm I wonder what that means?
I don’t have time to read all the comments above, so I might be repeating someone. (If so, my apologies.) However, my .02:
A herd mentality often results when a large demographic are physically all together at once. People get more excited & excitable; inhibitions get lowered. Probably these Chareidim were acting the way they might in Boro Park or elsewhere with so many of their own kind around them and the goyim or non-Chareidim in the background (or non-existent; or simply not important).
I’ve seen this among African-American kids, who get rowdy (& much more vicious than us) when they’re all together in a public place. However, in private, or when a majority of non-blacks, they are just as respectful of authority as everyone else.
Sorry — “when AMONG a majority of non-blacks.”
The heading ‘massive’ is way overboard
#139 No, chllel hashem is not how we relate to others. Its how we relate to Hashem Yisborach. If you do something wrong in chadrei chadorim where nobody can see its chillel hashem because you act as if Hashem is human and cant see you either. You make him ‘choil’.
When countless Jews are mechallel Shabbos its chillel Hashem even though a gentile doesn’t care. If one walks around with his Yiddish levish and gentile hates it , its not chlllil hashem , its Kiddush hashem .Of course we,re talking that he behaves , talks etc respectfully and much more
While it is
TRUE; in general we can be proud of ourselves.
TRUE; some geographic areas behaves better some worse.
TRUE; some bad behaviour is intentional some sheer ignorance some misjudged!
TRUE our good points outweigh (thought don’t excuse) these bad visions.
HOWEVER; if people who witness these outrages don’t at the very least say this is wrong then we are perceived by all (us and them) as not finding it wrong.
POSSIBLY justifiably so.
(PS to editor perhaps U should put newest comments on top to make for easier scrolling).
Great article very well written, and perfectly balanced.
What makes my hair grow back (as I’m bold) are the comments as commented by geula the purpose of the article is blemished by the hate comments of ultra orthodox, I assume the writer of the article did nor specifically target Chasidim, or Chareidim, it’s every person that wears a yarmilka on their head symbolizing that he is Jewish carry the same responsibilities and their actions are monitored with a magnified glass.
Happens to be where I was Chol Hamoad in PPP Mall the Chasidish kids were mamesh a blessing they weren’t out of control they were not bullying and fighting ad I’ve seen other non chasidish kids do, so let’s not go there let’s not compare each other to how we or they behave. What is important to us to learn of what is being written about us about jum o ING lines, letting a kid on a major street go, or sitting on a 9/11 memorial thumb, litter the water etc. Is an act which is not acceptable regardless where u are even in your own home it should not be done these are simple manners that every human being has to have on their instincts. And per ants are responsible for their looking up to them to make sure they know how to mannerly behave. Does not matter what, when or where. The גוי will anyway see what they want to see regardless of what we do. but why should we feed them with material on us which is hot potato for every chareidy hater outthere.
Commentators, please look of how we are united and care for each other we are here to help in happiness and C”V the opposite, tragedy strikes anywhere on the world there are jews out there going good to help regardless of race, religion etc. We have seen it to me and tome again. 9/11 a full force of hatzolah, shomrim, chaverim, and who not went down to help or see what they can help. Millions in charity for another איד in need. come where else has this been seen in such a magnitude.
Why השם does what he does only a רב בישראל with the erlichkeit needed can maybe try to provide us with the proper portion of muser when such a tragedy strikes us.
ר’אלימלך in his צעטיל קטן writes a tefilah אדרבה תן בליבנו שנראה כל אחד מעלות חברנו ולא חסרונם. in the merit of שלום should we all be זוכה to the ביזת הים tonight, משיח should not let us by and we should be able to be Makriv the קרבן פסח in the up coming פסח שני בב”א
Why are people so afraid of this article? YWN has many positive articles about our wonderful people. This one article is intended to help rectify a chill Hashem going on in our community by people who should know better. They are not singling out any specific group. Hopefully, we all can be dan l’kaf zchut for each individual and love each Jewish group, however, we must point out these problems so we can fix them, so that we can be a Kingdom of Cohanim and a Holy Nation. Step one is to have BASIC derech eretz (including cleanliness) which comes before the Torah (Tana Divei Eliyahu Rabba 1). This applied millennia ago when the world was pagan, and it certainly applies in our day and age where people are mainly law abiding, monotheistic, and moral.
If you are afraid this article will make us look bad, don’t worry, we already look really bad in the eyes of the nations, therefore, we have to work extra hard to fix that. This article is a kiddush Hashem because it shows the goyim that, as a whole, our people are good and are humble enough to work on their issues, instead of hiding them.
115, I was wondering:
Everyone sounds like it’s a widespread problem, so why don’t we see any of the problem guys in the comments?
– Until I saw your comment…
Your points aren’t even worth addressing.
When we do it its wrong but I am sure they do worse because I saw it with my own 2 eyes!!!
Gilda, I preempted any such comment with my previous comment. There is a stark contrast between German punktlichkeit and basic middos tovos. Take for example staring at strangers – a major plague in our culture – (you’d never see a gentile staring at you even if even though we dress very conspicuously), isn’t this something to work on? Isn’t it simple self-control!?
Don lkaf zchus:
We had a similar story on 1st day chol Hamod were we bought fares on the NYC subway for the entire family and we had two children in carriage two walking children and myself and my wife we did not fall it through train style the attendant opened the gate for us and we swiped metro card once and tried swiping again and subway atendant motioned for us to just go. My son discarded the remaining fares on the card so that we were paid up in full. So don’t judge so quickly without seeing the whole story.
Does YWN have a mashgiach? Who is it?
This article is definitely an important reminder for all of us. However the juxtaposition to Ed day is a mistake. Ed day is openly opposed to the charedie population, his post was purposely a smear against the frum community. Judging from the picture it seems to be a naive act of ignorance by a young child. Although we must certainly act properly at all times… Derech eretz kodma l’Torah nevertheless malicious people will always find something to spin(or just make it up)
i’m appalled at most of the comments of this article
TAKE THE MUSSAR FOR YOURSELFS AT LEAST
even if its “lashon hara” to be posting this (which it’s not) it’s saying how YOU should act, not someone else!
when you were out on your chol hamoed trip did you act like that, tell me the truth!
and “sefardi guy” comment 150,
so you can eat with your hands bbecause animals don’t even do that? your comment is ludicrus just bbecause theyre worse that makes it right?
SERIOUSLY PEOPLE
Hate to say it, but this is an east coast (“tri-state”) thing. Jews from out of town are always aware that their behavior reflects on all Jews. There are so many Jews on the east coast that they don’t check themselves like they would if they were constantly in the minority.
I was out on a chol hamoed trip, and b”H only saw proper behavior. Shame on those who didn’t behave properly.
BTW, moderator, you edited #141, but you missed his vile comments on #98.
First of all e/o stop being so quick to blame the chasidim and the chareidim for e/t. Secondly whoever wrote this article, maybe take a look in the mirror once in a while instead of being busy giving everyone else mussar for things you and your family most probably do on a daily basis
The naive act here is not the children, but the parent(s) who would let them do such a thing.
While it is absolutely true that most frum families behave properly and respectfully, as previously pointed out, we are in galus. As much as we will notice and take pride in the Jewish families that behave well, an outsider is more likely to note and remember all of the bad behavior. A little more mentchlichkeit can go a long way.
Like so many, I am sensitive to the need to improve our Kiddush Hashem sensitivity and awareness.
To further that goal, you can visit kiddush-hashem.com OR
purchase one of the wonderful Seforim on the topic such as
“Living Kiddush Hashem”.
For all of those bothered by stories such as these, let’s do something
“l’maaseh” in our own “daled amos” to change the world!
According to the Meshech Chochma:
Even though
Chillul Hashem is sin that YOM KIPPUR should ostensibly not forgive,
we could granted a special Divine Favor and IT IS forgiven
#2 BoysWork
That is blatantly false
(I was on the staff of a Modern Orthodox camp back in the ’90s,and trust me ,the havoc they could cause was on par with
anyone and everyone .
Chol hamoed is, at most, two weeks a year. Menchlichkeit is in season every day of the year. This includes not double parking, incessant honking, blocking someone’s driveway, leaving your dirty tissues on the table in Shul, taking seforim off the shelf and not putting them back, talking
loudly on you cell phone as if it was your own private room, the list is endless. Menchlichkeit starts with me, you and the next person, not just the next person.
“Asher diber tov al hayihudim”
I heard a tape from Rabbi Y. Frand Shlita a few years ago , one of the things he mentioned was the 10 worst problems in public schools in the ’40’s, in contrast to the 90’s, we won’t mention them. He spoke about Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky Zatzal putting on his frak on a blazing day in Washington D.C., as he approched The Capitol for “Kovod Malchus”. Rabbi Frand wondered if he would do so on the day he was speaking, as a certain issue was on the Senate floor.
Not to rectify wrongdoings of isolated indviduals in our community, but face reality, speak of all the good people are doing, and are, not just some isolated incidents, publicized to anyone who looks here, a chilull Hashem in itself.
Was an Odom Godol consulted before publicizing this Op-Ed, as we see it did draw uprecedent feedback?
שׁוֹמֵר פִּיו וּלְשׁוֹנוֹ שׁוֹמֵר מִצָּרוֹת נַפְשׁוֹ: ספר משלי פרק כא פכ”ג
After all, if this is called Yeshiva, who is the Rosh HaYeshiva, or Rabbinical Board?
It’s amazing to me all the comments here and how right every person thinks they are…yet those that agree will still double park tomorrow(some anyways) and those that disagree and scream ant jewish,anti chareidi and loshon Hora have no idea either….I’ve met the writer of this article and he is a CHAREIDI RABBI lol….know what that means….all the nay sayers and name callers can take their feet out of their mouth because the writer of this article is more versed in halacha than 99% of the people commenting here. Bottom line take the point of the article and move on we all know there are kiddush hashems as well as chillul hashems the bottom line is every person who double parks or shoves someone to get to the front or passes/ignores an old lady carrying bags cuz their late for minyan your all guilty of the same thing…respecting the people and the world around you….it does not matter how much learning or davening one does if they can’t see past their glasses.
All respect; why arent we told this is written by a Rabbi, approved by a Da’as Torah, the right thing to publicize to the world,and who is behind YWN?
I heard from Rav Rephoel Green Zatzal, that when newspapers came out, Maran Rav Chaim Ozer Grodzenski Zatzal was Misakein that they not be a forum for Halacha.
The Rosh Yeshiva Rav Schneur Kotler Zatzal said, that an unnamed statement is like an unsigned check.
#100 asked where on the list of 613 is not getting on the bus first (i.e., breaking into line). The answer is obvious: v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha. (And remember that R. Yisrael Salanter spoke of the fifth cheilek of Shulchan Aruch — “vi Tzu zein a mentch.”)
#115 said that chilul Hashem is only from Jew to Jew. Yechezkel Hanavi (36:22-23) disagrees. “ki im l’shem kodshi asher chilaltem bagoyim.”
#127 said to leave the mussar to those who are qualified to give it. And I thought that “hocheiach tochiach” is a mitzvah for all Jews!
Well, here is an update. We were in the succah in Chevron today – my family had about 1/6 of a table, but that was fine. The other 5/6 was occupied by a loud American family with a few teenage children. The wife wore a sheitel, Dad was in a white shirt. They refused to let an older lady sit on the chair just till Dad came back. But the worst? They picked themselves up and left a filthy mess – cups, fries, half-eaten sandwiches, wrappers all over the table. A nice Sefardi family had to clean up the mess & wipe the table down before they could eat. FTR there is a huge garbage can right outside the Succah – where we deposited our trash. I was embarrassed at their lack of respect, and as the father looked at the mess then at me & then at the receding Americans I just simply said “Americans.”
i guess i will be the one to point out that pointing out one particular problem should not overshadow the beautiful picture that takes place at almost every place frum yidden get together for the most part we represent the beauty of the jewish people when was the last time the cops where needed at any one of these places for domestic violence when was the last time anyone was arrested PLEASE show me the last time any one of these venues had crowds like this and the ONLY problem was garbage . MEMO TO THE EDITOR for the most part there is no greator kiddush hashem THAN WATCHING JEWISH FAMILIES ON CHOL HAMOED in non jewish places and to most of you that wrote comments stop being so ashamed of our beautiful yidishkiet NOBODY IS PERFECT .next time you go somewhere on chol hamoed walk tall and proud and make sure that YOU are perfect and when you’re done with yourself start on your own kids and make sure they don’t act like the young kids that they are i doubt you will have time to be a self hating insecure jew
It’s true that Yom Kippur dose not atone for chillul hashem but at least there’s a kapora through death r”l, but the sin of loshon Hora has NO kapora at all!! It’s a mefurash gemoro in eiruchin 15b!! Kal v’chomer loshon Hora on a rabim!! Please stop the derogatory comments!
Computerbubby,
Don’t you just love it when people take a muss at schmooze and say it’s talking about someone else
Everyone everyday at all times be a mensch and bring nachas to Hashem.
A lot of the commentator are pointing out how among the “Modern Orthodox” there seems to be much less “Chilull Hashem” then versus the “Ultra Orthodox”. This is basically the view of “The Jewish Press” that virtually every week has a full coverage story of a “Black Hatter” who is making the biggest “Chilull Hashem”. But, this seems a bid odd, that those same people that choose to ignore the most basic and fundamental laws in Judaism
should be so meticulous in the laws of “Chilull Hashem”! There must be a a simple and rude explanation for this phenomenon. The way of life of “Modern Orthodox” is the biggest “Chilull Hashem”! Could there be a bigger “Chilull Hashem” then for Jews to mingle and socialize with גוים!!! The Sad and Real reason why they are so מקפיד on “Chilull Hashem” is because it isn’t good for them Socially! It causes the גוים to isolate them. Thereby destroying the type of world they live in. With that said what they think to be the Biggest קידוש השם might just not be so! גוט מועד to ALL!!!
172 pieces against the CHILLUL HASHEM WELL what do u EXPECT FROM SUCH DEFECTIVE EMUNAH YIDDEN……………..AND YES U KNOW ITS MOSTLY THE CHASSSIDIM NOT STAM CHAREDIM. .LOOK HOW THEY (EVEN CHARADIM) TREAT SECULAR TEACHERAS IN THE YESHIVAH eNGLISH dePT ,LIKE GOIYISHE KIDS I KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT AFTER YEARS IN THOSE YESHIVOS .The inmates have taken over the Institution, The Chasideshe look is such a false front fior these frauds