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  • #617735
    alter bochur
    Participant

    So maybe I should give credit to NASI for raising the point that “age is just a number” and shouldn’t be a determining factor for shidduchim. But assuming they are correct what about the vast number of shidduchim redt to older singles with the sole comparitive quality being the similarity in age? Isn’t that amongst the more preposterous ways of matching people up?

    #1153007
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Is that worse than the vast number of shidduchim redt to younger singles with the sole worthiness of the match being the fact that he’s four years older than she is?

    #1153008
    alter bochur
    Participant

    No, it bellies the problem that a somewhat irrelevant factor has become the major determinant.

    #1153009
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    NASI would be very happy if age became totally irrelevant, because then there would be no age gap.

    #1153010
    alter bochur
    Participant

    Or maybe a huge age gap. Making age irrelevant also means that a well matched 50 year old with a 19 year old is also possible

    #1153011
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    If age was irrelevant, just as many matches between 19 year old males and 50 year old females would take place as the reverse.

    #1153012
    alter bochur
    Participant

    If they were compatible, that is what I was saying. So there would be potentially a huge age gap. Unless of course there are more compatible 4 year age gap people out there…

    #1153013
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Individual matches with an age gap aren’t the problem. The problem is the consistent pattern of boys getting married three or four years older than girls. If age was irrelevant, that wouldn’t happen; it would be pretty much even.

    #1153014
    alter bochur
    Participant

    How do you know if age was irrelevant that it wouldn’t happen? Perhaps the compatibility is such that people are more compatible with a multi year age gap?

    #1153015
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Then age is relevant.

    #1153016
    alter bochur
    Participant

    irrelevant in its own right, but relevant as a factor for determining compatibility

    #1153017
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    So there opinion that similar in age can be compatible is preposterous?

    #1153018
    Sam2
    Participant

    DY: Age in general should never be a positive factor. Too large an age gap can be a negating factor.

    #1153019
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Sam:

    Your two sentences contradict each other. I agree with the second. It’s actually a gemara (which Health doesn’t like).

    #1153020
    Sam2
    Participant

    DY: No they don’t. No one should create or decide a Shidduch based on age. Age can’t be a positive factor. In can be a Psul.

    #1153021
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    If a bad age (or age gap) is a negative, a good age (or gap) is a positive.

    #1153022
    alter bochur
    Participant

    DY: Which gemara are you referring to?

    #1153023
    Joseph
    Participant

    A mod should please change the title of this thread so something like Age Difference Relevancy for Shidduchim, rather than this meaningless overlooked title.

    #1153024
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    :????? ?”?

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